How to deal with troublesome ‘tweens’...
PRE-TEEN PROBLEMS
WHEN your child is a baby or toddler you know you have to look after them, and when they’re a teenager you know they’ll want their independence and need careful handling. But what about the time in the middle – the ‘tween’ years?
A tween is a child aged from around nine to 12. It can be a difficult stage for both tweens and their parents, as children of this age don’t think like, and definitely don’t want to be treated like, a little child any more – yet they’re not as mature as a teenager.
This can lead to a lack of communication between parent and child, and conflict, warns teacher Douglas Haddad, author of The Ultimate Guide to Raising
Teens and Tweens.
But ultimately, says Douglas, “There are three things tweens most desire: to be loved, listened to, and understood. If you get these right with a child, you will form an unbreakable bond for a lifetime.”
Here, he discusses the challenges of the tween years and how parents can deal with them... more salient role in their lives.
“It’s important for parents and educators to help children establish a strong foundation for equipping tweens with the tools necessary to solve problems, become leaders, stand up to peer pressure, resolve conflict, time manage, and become more self-reliant and selfdisciplined.
“As tweens graduate into teens, their exposure to bigger problems starts to rise, such as tobacco, alcohol, and drug use, gambling, and sexual relationships. Having an arsenal of tools at their disposal will be critical for their social, emotional, and physical wellbeing.”
“TWEENS are going through rapid changes, especially girls. Physical and hormonal changes can make tweens feel quite self-conscious.
“At this age, children strive for independence. They test the boundaries on a regular basis to see how much they can talk back, slack off from school work, and get away with pretty much anything.
“Tweens gauge how involved their parents are in their lives by continuously pushing the boundaries. During the tween years, bullying increases, as kids this age endure a high amount of peer pressure both at school and online.
“Many tweens receive their first phones around this time and start to get involved in texting, social media, and online video gaming. This often accompanies impulsive and inappropriate behaviour that they’re exposed to and often display – especially among peers.”
“AS a middle school teacher for over 20 years and working with children and their families from all different backgrounds, I’ve seen a range of