Quiche? Give me pie and peas any day!

SAUSAGES came top in a summer survey of garden party essentials in a list that was as middle class as a constituency fundraiser for Jacob Rees-Mogg.

It was sponsored by Bacardi, and the only alcohol to make the list was gin and tonic and summer cocktails.

The food that people claimed essential for a successful gathering included finger sandwiches, potato salad, Victoria sponge cake, Scotch eggs, take away pizza, Quiche Lorraine, cucumber sandwiches, pavlova and pasta salad.

They also suggested a fire pit, DJ, outdoor cinema screen and blankets for guests for when it gets cold.

I can see this sort of do becoming extremely popular in semi detached estates all over Yorkshire.

“Put another log on t’fire pit Mabel, string quartet’s feeling t’chill.”

How the other half live. To most ordinary people, a garden party equates with barbecue, chicken breasts, buffalo wings, kebabs, burgers, Stella Artois and Prosecco and keep the music down because of the neighbours.

My daughter Siobhan and son-in-law Ronan enjoy traditional garden parties at their rural home in Donegal which is so isolated only sheep are close enough to be bothered by the noise and none have yet complained.

They offer food from the kitchen, as well as a barbecue menu that is always full, varied, locally produced and often locally shot. I said it was rural.

In comparison, I also attended Conservative garden parties held in the grounds of the home of my pal Lord Honley. I was a guest so I didn’t have to contribute to any party political funds. There was a bar with wine and fine draft beers, rock and roll bands (Honley enjoys playing blues guitar) and the food was even simpler than a barbie: pie and peas of a magnificent standard and not a quiche in sight.

Now that’s the way to throw a garden party.