Was that a gong I heard? I’m still waiting, Boris!

ICAST a hopeful eye down Boris Johnson’s honours list to mark his first year in office. Once again, I was disappointed to discover my name was omitted from those elevated to the House of Lords.

Has the Prime Minister got it in for short people? John Bercow was left out as well although, unlike me, he had actually been nominated.

After all these years of service to journalism and without a sniff of an OBE, I suppose my chances were slim, although I have lived here all my life, unlike fellow journalist Evgeny Lebedev who moved to London from Russia with his father, who was an economic attache, KGB agent and oligarch.

Mr Evgeny now owns UK newspapers and was honoured for media industry work and conservation support.

I might point out that I’ve been part of the British media industry for 60 years and consistently contribute to conservation (mainly of the British brewing industry), and yet, still no recognition.

It possibly hasn’t helped that I don’t even know Mr Johnson, never mind being his brother, and have never financially contributed to the Conservative Party. Neither am I the husband of a former Tory Prime Minister, so I don’t suppose I can really complain.

The Electoral Reform Society, however, did complain and Chief Executive Darren Hughes said: “By

I also have eight years experience of working closely with three peers in Blackpool. Sorry,

piers.

appointing a host of ex-MPs, party loyalists and his own brother, the PM is inviting total derision. That he can get away with it shows what a private member’s club this house is. This move is an absolute insult to voters. This is making a mockery of democracy.

“Today marks a nail in the coffin for the idea that the Lords is some kind of independent chamber of experts. It is a house of cronies and party loyalists.”

Boris might like to know that I’m still waiting in the wings, like a permanent understudy, if needed in the interests of non-party democracy. I also have eight years experience of working closely with three peers in Blackpool. Sorry, piers.

I am also not without awards. I have a cup for winning a jive competition circa 1958, was captain of the winning Altrincham Cup football team in 1959 (with photograph to prove it), received the SPAM Award (a tin of SPAM on a plinth) for the best journalistic feature on SPAM in the UK (it had nothing at all to do with Monty Python), and the Crime Writers’ Association Award for best first crime novel of 1987.

Oh yes, and I was knighted on the steps of Sainsbury’s in Market Street