Teens well-versed in breaking up

NEARLY a third of relationships in Britain are ended by text, according to a Sky Mobile survey. Which didn’t happen in my day as the only text available was that used in writing a letter. Far too much trouble. Best to ask your best friend to pass on the news.

When I was 16, I asked Dave to tell Vi, a decision I regretted for two years. He was only too happy to oblige because he fancied her and she became his girlfriend. The same happened to me, in reverse, when Babs broke the news that Jackie was ditching me. Babs and I became an item. The personal touch softened the blow and ignited a teenage crush. I mean, as a teenager, no one is very far from a new crush.

Times and methods change and breaking up is much easier than it used to be in the pop songs of old. There Goes My Baby and Bye Bye Love.

The survey found that rather than being given formal notice of closure, 23% were “ghosted”, which has nothing to do with Halloween but basically means one member of the couple avoids and ignores the other through text and social networking. Better for everyone if a clean break is made.

Another 10% have been dumped by email and 2% by poem. Which at least means some thought has gone into the termination.

Here are a few of my own. Feel free to use as appropriate.

Roses are red, violets are blue

Sorry, no flowers. I’ve just dumped you.

Or ...

It was love at first sight, I thought we’d be fine

But I’m sorry, love. It’s the end of the line.

Or ...

The express of love was a wonderful ride

But now I’ve gone off you and just want to hide.

Any other suggestions?