By George, I just love this...
EXCUSE me while I preen. According to 75% of women in a poll, men with beards make the best lovers.
Nicola Watson of Edinburgh, a 37-year-old lady, said: “I’ve been attracted to men with beards ever since George Clooney grew one and it’s the first thing I look out for in a potential date.”
And, let’s face it, take away the looks, money, intelligence, charm and success and there’s no real difference between me and George Clooney. Two peas in a pod.
The survey was conducted for online company OnBuy.com and also found that brown eyes came high on the attraction list (that’s another tick for me) and small feet (I’m a size seven).
What ladies don’t like are baldness and big hands, which are more positives, as I have more hair than Samson before Delilah gave him a short back and sides and the sort of artistic hands that van Gogh would have envied.
There are also scientific reasons why bearded men are attractive to women. The Journal of Evolutionary Biology said that facially hirsute chaps appealed to ladies looking for long term relationships because “they indicate a male’s ability to successfully compete socially with other males for resources”.
Beards have also been shown to help men absorb blows to the chin and probably evolved as a result of combat rather than fashion. I discovered this when I lost a tooth at 18 in a fight over my girlfriend’s honour. The loss was undoubtedly my fault for being clean shaven. I grew my first beard soon afterwards.
Time is measured in days, weeks and beards and fans have declared beards are the new six pack, which I find reassuring, considering my six pack turned into a party four some time ago.
I have been bearded for decades. What chap wouldn’t wear one with pride when you consider its associations: Vikings, Santa Claus and George Clooney. No wonder ladies like them.