Fred was 3lbs – I was scared to touch him in case I broke him
MUM IN PODCAST SERIES TO HELP PARENTS OF PREMATURE BABIES
A MUM who says she was “terrified” of touching her tiny baby for fear of hurting him after he was born prematurely is to launch a fascinating series of 11 podcasts.
Broadcaster Caroline Verdon, 38, from Clayton West, Huddersfield, and another neonatal mum, Kerry Bickerdike, from Leeds, are fronting the pods which are entitled Unexpected Beginnings – The Neonatal Unit in recognition of World Prematurity Day.
Caroline who is married to Rob Saxton, and who has an older son, Arthur, said: “Our youngest child was born prematurely at 33 weeks on August 24, 2019.
“Fred weighed 3lbs and I remember feeling scared to touch him in case I broke him. I felt guilty and blamed myself for him coming early and I struggled for a long time to feel a bond with him.
“His skin was like paper and he was so tiny you could see every blood vessel and his heart pumping, it was quite terrifying.
“They took videos of me interacting with Fred and that helped because I could see that he loved me and it was obvious that I loved him.”
Caroline added: “These feelings can make you feel very isolated because most of us bury them for fear of being judged but in reality, most parents on the neonatal unit are having similar thoughts.
“This podcast is something I would have listened to, I could have done it as I lay awake at night or while I sat by Fred’s incubator. It would have made me feel better knowing I wasn’t the only person feeling my feelings and having my thoughts and would have made the experience less insular.”
Designed as a complete toolkit, the first of its kind, the podcast will ‘hold the hand’ of parents and families at what can be a very frightening time and support them to know that they are not alone.
Voices include leading children’s specialists, psychologists, and the families themselves, who open up to make the journey of others easier.
Focusing on a different element of the neonatal journey in each episode Caroline and Kerry, explore life on the neonatal unit, covering topics including arriving on the neonatal unit for the first time, difficulties bonding with a baby in an incubator, and managing mental health.
Unexpected Beginnings has been produced by broadcaster Caroline, creative director at Under the Mast, in conjunction with the Leeds Children’s Hospital neonatal team.
Liz McKechnie, a consultant neonatologist, said: “We understand what a vulnerable time this can be, not only for the newly born babies but their parents and wider families. We aim to help parents become confident in looking after their poorly or premature new baby. We work with parents to adapt our care to help families and it is from this joint working that the podcast has been born. We really wanted to seek new ways of engaging with and supporting not only our new families in Leeds, but any family with a premature baby, which is why we brought together a team of specialists to create this series. We hope that it will help parents navigate their often rocky neonatal journey.”