Summer shows expansion plans - just like Putin

If nothing else, the oppressive heat we have been enjoying in recent weeks has been a gift when it comes to making small talk at the barbers (or hairdressers, depending how much you pay).

The apparent cliche of asking whether you’re going anywhere nice for your holidays this year has become redundant as this country has consistently qualified as ‘somewhere nice’ since the latter part of May.

Incidentally, I’ve never been asked whether I’m going anywhere nice for my holidays while having a haircut, so I think hairdressers are being unfairly maligned when it comes to their choice of idle chat. Anyway, the answer in my case is usually somewhere like Belgium, which tends to be a bit of a conversational cul-desac.

According to the Met Office, the UK’s ‘warmer than average’ weather could last until October. Forecasters are reportedly suggesting the warm, dry conditions could continue into the autumn, with belowaverage rainfall.

The usual complaint that “we haven’t had a summer” has been comprehensively bypassed this year, to be replaced by the less familiar grumble that it’s too hot to do anything. Even sun worshippers are frustrated by the fact that it’s more humid than sunny.

Summer is also starting to look a bit expansionist by taking over October - which has always firmly belonged to autumn - and adding to its existing (and fair) allocation of June, July and August. Summer is the Vladimir Putin of seasons. It should be happy with what it’s got, rather than annexing October like it’s the Crimea.

It’s nice but we’d still rather be watching falling leaves in October than swimming in the sea or eating Cornettos. Wouldn’t we?