It’s not just a tooth clean - it’s re­ally a jet wash

Kent Messenger Maidstone - - LETTERS TO THE EDITOR - John Nur­den The KM Group colum­nist with his own look at the world jnur­den@thek­m­

I have cleaned my teeth. Well, to be pre­cise, I have had my teeth cleaned.

This is com­pletely dif­fer­ent to scrub­bing the mo­lars with a moth-eaten tooth­brush.

My den­tist now has some­thing called a den­tal hy­gien­ist. She might have been there all along in her eyrie at the top of the stairs but this was the first time I had been of­fered her ser­vices.

I am sure many of you have en­coun­tered the work of a tooth technician but for me it was a to­tally new ex­pe­ri­ence.

Nor­mally, I get away with a clean at the hands of Carl­ton the den­tist. He probes my gums with a cat­tle-prod and then scours the enamel with some kind of car jet­wash con­verted to tackle tar­tar. It never hurts but the word “un­com­fort­able” comes to mind.

This time, he de­cided I needed a deep clean to get to the root of the prob­lem. That, quite frankly, sounded fright­en­ing. So I was despatched up the stair­way to heaven or to hell, de­pend­ing on your pain thresh­old.

Lisa gave me a stern talk on how I had not been clean­ing my teeth prop­erly for the past 60 years and why I should in­vest in a flash elec­tric con­trap­tion with ro­tat­ing bris­tles. It was a bit like swal­low­ing a road-sweep­ing ma­chine and vir­tu­ally knocked my teeth out. She spread some kind of cream over my gums and then ad­min­is­tered an in­jec­tion which numbed my mouth. Af­ter a ses­sion un­der the flood­light she in­structed: “You may swill your mouth out now.”

That was eas­ier said than done. For a start, the econ­omy plas­tic cup crum­pled in my clumsy grasp. And then my mouth failed to spit in the re­quired di­rec­tion thanks to the cruel ef­fects of anaes­thetic.

The toothy-pegs are gleam­ing but I have been left an emo­tional wreck. And that’s the tooth...

‘Af­ter a ses­sion un­der the flood­light she in­structed: “You may swill your mouth out now’

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