The hits keep com­ing, but May shows re­solve

Kent Messenger Maidstone - - FRONT PAGE -

If Theresa May was an an­i­mal she would prob­a­bly be David the chim­panzee from Sir David At­ten­bor­ough’s lat­est se­ries, Dy­nas­ties.

That may seem harsh but let me ex­plain my­self be­fore you all call for me to step down as a colum­nist be­cause I’ve com­pletely lost con­trol and am mak­ing a mock­ery of this his­toric op­por­tu­nity. David, if you haven’t watched, was the strong leader his troupe wanted — un­til the go­ing got tough.

Then all the young up­starts ganged up on him, at­tack­ing at night and leav­ing his prone, twitch­ing body for the ir­re­versiblypsy­cho­log­i­cally-dam­aged cam­era crew to find.

They couldn’t do any­thing be­cause this is na­ture and the point of these pro­grammes is to show what ac­tu­ally goes on.

Teary eyed they had to film poor old David slowly, inch by inch drag his bro­ken body to food and wa­ter be­cause, as At­ten­bor­ough re­veals, there’s no pub­lic health ser­vice in the jun­gle.

The crew’s ex­pe­ri­ence must have been quite sim­i­lar to what Laura Kuenss­berg goes through on a daily ba­sis as she’s forced to en­dure an­other bloody round of May-bash­ing.

Any­way, back to the jun­gle, and David is, quite as­ton­ish­ingly, still alive. He’s miss­ing toes and fin­gers and is cov­ered in bloody wounds, but he’s not dead.

Luther, the grin­ning Do­minic Raab of jun­gle pol­i­tics, has taken over and is quite happy about it un­til, what’s that, surely not, it is, it’s David back from the dead and run­ning, shoul­ders hunched, full pelt at him.

Luther’s off, quick as flash, to join chimp Ja­cob Rees-Mogg and chimp Boris John­son in the tallest tree and David is back in con­trol.

It’s watch­ing this kind of spec­ta­cle that pre­pared me nicely for last week’s ‘Brexit deal’ fall out.

Brim­ming with re­spect for David the chimp I watched a bat­tered and bruised Prime Min­is­ter lose an en­tire cabi­net, call an im­promptu press con­fer­ence, de­clare she was Ge­of­frey Boy­cott and sashay off stage.

What­ever you think of her pol­i­tics you’ve got to re­spect Theresa May’s deter­mi­na­tion.

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from UK

© PressReader. All rights reserved.