‘No words describe the grief of losing a child - she was failed’
Family critical of university after Phoebe, 20, took her own life
The devastated family of an “incredible” young student who died after an attempted suicide say she was failed by her university.
Phoebe Grime, from Cranbrook, was studying at Newcastle University when she was found at her accommodation trying to take her own life in June 2021.
The 20-year-old died two days later in hospital from her injuries.
Following an inquest, Phoebe’s mother hit out at the university for not providing enough support for her “incredible and exceptional” daughter.
She is now campaigning for higher education establishments to be made to do more to keep students safe through a statutory duty of care – a cause she is taking up alongside Learn Network, an organisation founded by other parents of student suicide victims. Less than a year after joining in 2019, the philosophy student’s mental health declined due to a mix of the Covid-19 lockdown, deadlines and problems with her living arrangements.
In October 2020 she reached out to the university’s mental health services, telling them she had suicidal thoughts, and was given anti-depressants by her GP. She also saw a private psychotherapy service her father had arranged.
In April 2021 Phoebe’s mental health took a turn for the worse after her father was diagnosed with lung cancer and she went through a break-up.
She was offered counselling by the university in May but less than a day after her sec
ond session, she attempted to take her own life.
Phoebe’s mother Hilary Grime and brother Hamish say they are still searching for answers after a “hugely unsatisfactory” inquest.
“She was an incredible person in so many ways,” Mrs Grime said. “She was exceptional, great fun and intelligent. “There isn’t a word in the dictionary for describing the grief of losing a child – the closest, I think, is brutal.
“I’m really grateful for the amazing 20 years Phoebe shared with us.
“I feel like when Phoebe died a big bulletproof glass came down in front of us and I can look back and see the life we had. I can kick and scream but can’t get back to that and now I have to turn around and find my own path slowly.”
Mrs Grime was unhappy with how the inquest, held at Newcastle Coroner’s Court, unfolded and thought more questions should have been asked about the university’s handling of Phoebe’s mental health.
The grief-stricken mother added: “We had the inquest in Newcastle which was hugely unsatisfactory, because it was two hours long and the coroner didn’t ask enough questions of the university.
“They said shocking things about how they weren’t aware how serious Phoebe’s mental health issue was, yet they knew she had a suicide plan in October 2020 and her father was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer in April.
“They knew she was falling behind on her work, they knew she was struggling with her
flatmates, so to say that was unbelievable.
“We got the timelines from the coroner and it was only then I realised what a terrible situation she had been in for a very long time.”
Brother Hamish added: “I didn’t feel that justice was done at the inquest. The conclusion the coroner came to was there was nothing more Newcastle University could have done to prevent her death, which I feel is totally wrong. We have seen emails of Phoebe saying in January ‘urgent help please’ in the subject of the message and the body ‘urgent help me please I would be grateful if you could give me a date for counselling’.”
Paying tribute to his sister, he added: “Phoebe was a great sister, was a lot of fun, kind and was always up for anything. “I have a photo in my room of us sliding about in the mud together. She had a great attitude for life.”
Following the hearing, assistant coroner Karin Welsh said: “Having considered things very carefully, I cannot identify any point where things should have been done differently for Phoebe by anybody involved in her support.”
The Learn Network has set up a petition at www.tinyurl. com/suicide-petition calling for universities to do more to keep students safe, which they hope will reach 100,000 signatures so the topic can be debated in Parliament.
Hilary said: “It’s the only way we are going to get this change because the government and universities are not accountable. Different unis are doing different things.” A Newcastle University spokesman said: “We were devastated by Phoebe’s death and our thoughts go out to her family and friends.
“Phoebe was a talented and popular student who had great potential and she will be remembered fondly by the staff and students who had the pleasure of knowing her during her time at Newcastle University.
“In the 18 months she studied with us, Phoebe received ongoing help and we had been working hard to support her through her studies. “A support plan was in place to help her with her academic studies, and she had a dedicated counsellor who was helping her during a very difficult time. The coroner in Phoebe’s inquest found they could not identify any point where things could have been done differently, either in the case of the university or her private counsellor.
“Nonetheless, we are never complacent and continuously work to improve the services and support we provide students. Like all schools, colleges and universities, we are acutely aware of the increasing number of young people needing mental health support. “Working with key partners, we support any student who is struggling with their mental health and offer a range of support options to meet the many different needs, including referral to more specialist services.”
A Department for Education spokesman said students’ mental health is of “paramount importance” and is funding £15m of regular analysis of student suicide data.
‘I didn’t feel that justice was done...’