Mum’s heartbreak leads to support for stillbirth fund
Charity offers cold cots to grieving parents
A mum has praised an organisation for the support she received after her baby was stillborn. Cheryl Griffiths lost her baby girl Brynn on November 4 at 20 weeks.
The 40-year-old said: “Going through that pain of labour and then having your baby and then the room’s just silent, completely silent. You never ever forget that.
“It happens to so many more people than you think, it’s just not vocalised.
“Maybe it’s because they feel they can’t talk about it but you wouldn’t talk about living children like that, you wouldn’t discard them.
“I still say I’ve had six children, Brynn was number six, she was my baby. I’ll still talk about her, she’s still a beautiful poutylipped little girl.”
Cheryl, who lives at Invicta Park Barracks in Maidstone with her husband Bryan who is in the Army, was supported by Abigail’s Footsteps, a non-profit organisation which helps with bereavement after stillbirth and neonatal death.
The charity, set up by Rochester couple David and Jo Ward after their daughter Abigail was stillborn, is the sole supplier of the Abi Cooling Cot, which contains a refrigerated system that allows parents to spend more time with their deceased baby than would otherwise be possible, helping them through the grieving process.
The family were able to spend
three days together in Abigail’s Place, a bereavement suite at Medway Maritime Hospital, funded by Abigail’s Footsteps. Cheryl said: “We went through the process, got her dressed, got everything done for her, and then the midwife came to see us and she explained Abigail’s Footsteps.
“We went to a one-bedroom flat which was absolutely beautiful, really well decorated and it had a very calming atmosphere that allowed us to just chill.” Cheryl described the midwives as gentle, caring, and “absolutely fantastic”. “To go through that and see a baby that has passed away, a stillborn baby, must mentally take a toll on these midwives,” she said. “But they handle it so professionally and they saw that my husband had everything he needed, I had everything I needed, we were really really well taken care of.”
The organisation also provided them with a memory box, where Cheryl’s other children can write notes to Brynn.
“It’s amazing what they provide, their service is just astounding,” she said.
Cheryl said that without the support from midwives and counselling, she doesn’t think she would still be standing today. “The support is beyond words and without it I would have broken down,” she said. Cheryl, who works at Barty House Nursing Home in Bearsted and at The Southern Bell pub in Gillingham, is now raising money for Abigail’s Footsteps. The money will be used towards counselling, as well as facilities for other families to spend time with their sleeping babies.
She said: “This is keeping me going. If I didn’t have this, I would be a wreck. Life will never be normal, it’s psychologically and emotionally damaging, and it’s a traumatic experience to go through. You go through so much pain and have nothing at the end of it.
“I need to do this for other people – everything always happens for a reason, I’m a big believer in that and this is maybe that reason. Everyone who knows me knows I love my children, and it’s the same for Brynn even though she’s not here, I’m doing it for her.”
‘It’s amazing what they provide, their service is just astounding’