The traditional Christmas row over... tinsel

I have always been of the opinion that decisions are shared equally in Cobweb Castle.

I decide big issues such as if we should leave the EU (sorry) and Mrs Nurden tackles the more minor ones like where we live and what schools the Creatures of the Night, when they were younger, went to.

Like many households, we have our ups and downs. Over the years we have had some fearsome debates. We have tackled the government’s handling of the coronavirus pandemic head-on (she shows no interest in allowing pubs to reopen) and we are at loggerheads over the need for more homes (best not to reveal which side either of us are on for fear of reprisals from just about everybody).

But one row eclipses them all. The not-soinvisible elephant in the room is Christmas.

We try our best to welcome the festive season with open arms and to embrace the upheaval it causes. We know the house will be turned upside down as decades of decorations are heaved down from the attic.

We know roughly where everything goes.

Even the rather dodgy dangling thing created from a coathanger by Creature Number

Two when he was four hangs at the foot of the stairs in full view of perplexed (pre-Covid) visitors. But some items always lead to a full-scale war of global proportions. The one raging now is whether to tinsel or not.

For me, no Christmas is complete without lashings of silver, gold, green or red draped over trees, mirrors, pictures or banisters. In fact, anything which doesn’t move, and that sometimes includes the cats, is a fair target for the tinsel fairy.

Mrs Nurden disapproves with a vengeance and insists tinsel is tacky and we should restrain ourselves to decking the halls with holly and other vegetation. My innocent suggestion that festive floral creations are best left in the garden has not gone down well. The tinselometer is ticking...

‘For me, no Christmas is complete without lashings of silver, gold, green or red draped over trees, mirrors, pictures or banisters’