Sexy as a bag of compost

Just when you thought that all protests in 2017, by law, had to be directed at Donald Trump, it appears a few people didn’t get the message.

Demonstrators targeted the London premiere of Fifty Shades Darker last week, claiming the film glamorises domestic abuse.

Having only seen a trailer for the film, while waiting the traditional half-hour or so for the ‘feature presentation’ to start at the cinema the other day, it would be difficult to comment.

But, if two minutes are long enough to judge – debatable, I know – the makers of Fifty Shades Darker are definitely guilty of glamorising really bad films.

Apart from appearing cliched and over-stylised, it looked about as sexy as a bag of compost.

There again, film-makers have a perverse habit of choosing the most offputting clips to bung in their promotional trailers, almost as if they want us to stay away.

In this case, it’s worked. And anyway, I haven’t seen Fifty Shades of Grey, so all the meaningful grunting and moodily-lit stilettos will mean nothing to me.

The protesters may well have a point, but the fact they held their demonstration at the premiere begs the question of how they managed to watch the unreleased film before going to Leicester Square armed with placards.

Perhaps they held a special preview screening for potential dissenters, because there’s nothing like an angry protest for a bit of pre-release publicity (see also: this column).

With Fifty Shades doing the rounds and all the po-faced Oscar-fodder clogging up the cinema, let’s hope there’s something good on telly. OK, Ninja Warrior UK it is, then.