Kentish Gazette Canterbury & District
Inspirational story of woman’s escape from oppression
She enjoys quiet retirement in east Kent but life was not always so tranquil for Esmat Rayner, fleeing an arranged marriage and oppressive regime. Having written about her experiences, she spoke to Bess Browning
Awoman who escaped the Iran revolution has written a book of the hardship she faced as she grew up and how she eventually found herself in Kent.
As a teenager, inspirational Esmat Rayner, now 76, yearned for education, freedom to love, live and travel as she wished and not be restricted by religious, cultural or political boundaries.
But instead, she was forced into an arranged marriage with her cousin and teenage pregnancy, lived through a brutal war which saw her husband killed in a police ambush of rebel activists, before escaping to Britain where she had to teach herself English and get on with her life freely.
She says her book, Tamse’s Life, is to inspire women to never give up.
Painting a detailed image of the timeline of her entire life, Esmat, of Water Lane in Ospringe, faced endless challenges from an early age.
In just the first few years of her life, Esmat’s three-yearold brother drowned and her family was fleeced out of their wealth and home.
Later when she found herself in an arranged marriage with her cousin, she was relentlessly bullied by her husband’s family and was told her baby would be taken away.
These tough events were all before the Iran revolution, when an Islamic group overthrew the Phalavi dynasty, and then Esmat faced even more despair and discrimination.
Esmat, an active member of Canterbury reading group, said: “Before the revolution, life in Iran for women was fun and we could go to university, work where we wanted, travel where we wanted. We were free.
“It is a wonderful, beautiful country.
“But in the first 20 years of the revolution, people suffered a lot.
“They were looking for anyone who had a party, gathering, music, drama, magazines. This was all not allowed under their regime.
“People used to be able to travel where they wanted but suddenly we were trapped. We knew a female activist who was brutally killed and my cousin was in prison for more than a year after being found with magazines.”
Esmat was a supervisor for 23 years, managing hundreds of staff in a telecommunications company, but in the height of the revolution, she was turned away from her job by a female revolution guard for not wearing the right colour.
It was after this emotive moment when Esmat found a woman who could get her out of Iran and a visa was made for her to travel to Austria before she made the move to England.
She says that the main themes she has written about are the challenges faced by women, cross-cultural marriage and the effect of the revolution on people.
Despite not learning any English until she moved to London when she was 41, Esmat has written eloquently about her experiences.
Speaking in the book about women’s equality, she writes: “Citizens of urban communities were often educated to a very high standard, many obtaining postgraduate degrees in the western world and were accustomed to a more equal position for women.
“Yet some of these intellectuals were no further forward in their thinking regarding women’s equality. I believe that being broadminded depends on individual culture, opinion and taste and not being rich or educated.”
She says that language is the key to being embraced by society and hopes that people will be inspired by her determination.
She said: “My intention with this book is to show that ladies and girls should never give up and, with hope and courage, they should try to carry on.
“I am not a writer and I am not a politician but I wanted to tell my story and the history involved.
“I keep myself busy and try not to think only about my life in Iran.
“I went back last year after 11 years and although it was better, there are still many problems. England is my country now, but I will never forget.”
To buy a copy a copy of Tamse’s Life, email Esmat on e.rayner@ tiscali.co.uk