Where’s the popcorn?

It was, of course, all about the winners and losers – but what about the all-important hospitality and refreshments offered to those attending election counts until the small hours? Those in Canterbury seemed to have the best deal; the count venue had to be moved to Westgate Hall which by luck adjoins the swish Curzon arthouse cinema, which has a suitably chic cafe/bar.

Our reporter could hardly contain his excitement at the prospect of a kale and mango smoothie, but we at Off The Record are traditionalists and have a soft spot the large tea urns you normally see at such events.

We suspect Conservative candidate Anna Firth could be forgiven for perhaps wanting something stronger after falling short of victory over Rosie Duffield. n And on the subject of winners and losers, we can reveal which Kent MP is at the top of the pile when it comes to the popular vote.

So clap your hands for the Tonbridge and Malling’s Tom

Tugendhat, whose stonking 26,941 majority makes him the political premier league champion in Kent – and he also polled more votes than all but one of his colleagues, 35,784. An honourable mention to Ashford’s Damian Green who topped our unofficial poll for the highest number of votes cast for a Conservative MP, 37,720. n The former Dover and Deal MP Charlie Elphicke was not in a communicative mood on arriving at the election count, telling reporters that as he was not the candidate he had no comment to make. He stood down after allegations of sexual misconduct came to light. His wife won the seat on Thursday. n As for the inquest into Labour's dismal showing, an uncompromising assessment from former opposition leader on Dartford council, Jonathan Hawkes, should make compulsory reading.

“We thought we could get to election day and it will all change – that was fanciful and delusional. We should have seen it coming”, was just one part of his analysis.