Kentish Gazette Canterbury & District
Covid-19 maternity rules made new dad feel like an outsider
When Ricky Richards was told he was going to be a father for the second time, images of him sitting by his partner’s bedside as they watched over their newborn baby filled his mind. Nine months later, his little boy, Leo, was delivered on Sunday, September 20
– 37 hours after labour was induced.
Girlfriend Regan Holka lay wearily in her hospital bed as Ricky, with his mask tight to his face, tended to her and their child.
But after two-and-a-half hours, he was asked to leave. Visiting hours had ended. “It was bizarre,” the 32-year-old, from Canterbury, remembers. “I was there for 37 hours waiting for him and then I was out the door. “With the emotions of having a newborn baby, I forgot the rules and it took me a minute or two to realise I probably should leave. “Because they were stretched for midwives, I thought it would make sense to let me stay and help with the feeding and changing, as then Regan wouldn’t need to keep hitting the midwife button to help her.
“In January, I thought it would be plain and simple, and that I’d be there from start to finish and then we’d come home. I never thought a pandemic would happen.” East Kent Hospitals Trust rules, updated during the pandemic, dictate that women going through labour can select just one person to support them throughout the birth.
Afterwards, the designated birthing partner is unable to stay beyond normal visiting hours - but remains the only person allowed to see the new mum and baby.
After traipsing out of the William Harvey Hospital in Ashford, Ricky returned to his home off St Martin’s Hill. He then spent the night on the other end of the phone to Regan, as she recovered from
the weekend-long ordeal, while also caring for their baby.
“There were some big complications for her – she lost a lot of blood – and she was not able to do anything,” Ricky says. “Not only did she have to look after herself, she had a baby to look after as well. “She was a new mum and worried. Regan didn’t want to press the button for the midwife because there was only one on the ward.
“I even contemplated sleeping in my car outside the hospital, so she knew I was outside because it was worrying for her. She was being left alone with a new baby when she really wasn’t well.”
The restrictions on visitors to the infirmary meant the couple’s parents were unable to see their grandson until he was discharged. Worse still, Regan’s father developed a cough, forcing him to have to delay his visit.
“The thing that struck me the most,” Ricky adds, “was you can’t really be personal with the midwives when you’re at the hospital because they’re in full PPE – I didn’t know who was the person behind the mask.” Ricky, the manager of the city’s Curzon cinema, was also forced to miss a number of important appointments, including three of the four ultrasound scans.
In addition, the rules brought in to combat the spread of the virus required the couple to take tests at least three days before the due date. The profound impact of the pandemic on the pregnancy prompted a meeting with midwives to ask a number of virus-related questions in the lead up to September.
“We had to have an extra meeting to ask all these questions we hadn’t even thought of before, like ‘what if my temperature’s too high?’ or ‘what if I’ve got a cough on the day’” Ricky explains. “You’re scared to cough in case someone will say you need to leave.”
Covid-19’s impact on Leo’s early life continues to be seen, as face-to-face appointments with Regan’s midwife have been replaced with video calls on Whatsapp.
But Ricky remains disappointed with how his involvement in the pregnancy was curtailed by the virus. “I felt like an outsider through the whole experience,” he remarks. “Covid’s putting barriers up for dads. I couldn’t be there as an equal parent holding hands and changing nappies when I should have been.”
‘I even contemplated sleeping in my car outside the hospital, so she knew I was outside because it was worrying for her’