Kexit? And who said the world had gone mad?

The KM Group columnist with his own look at the world

We are all doomed! The Second Coming of Covid-19 is imminent. Even if you are self-isolating in a cave at the top of Everest without a radio, television or newspaper, the signs are there to spot.

University students have been locked in their dormitories (no bad thing, if you ask me) and morons are stalking the supermarkets buying up bog rolls, pasta and a supply of baked beans big enough to cope with two years of nuclear fallout (although they will lead to their own fallout, I suspect). Just when we were cautiously looking to Christmas with more than the wife/husband/ significant other (delete as appropriate) and thinking things couldn’t get any worse, Michael Gove emerged from his mole hole and came up with the wheeze of introducing a boundary in Kent in the latest Brexit battle with EU bureaucrats. To be honest, I thought that had gone away until Operation Stack returned to take over the M20 and turn our county into chaos again. But optimists insist every cloud has a silver lining so some wag came up with independence for Kent - or Kexit, as Kentonline has dubbed it. This crazy idea has found favour with just about everyone, none more so than Chatham and Aylesford MP Tracey Crouch, who, according to my colleague Ed Mcconnell in a whimsical essay (see page 18), may end up Queen after Twitter went wild when a mischievous Ladbrokes’ post went viral. Despite being hailed as the Garden of England because of its apples (the eating ones as opposed to iphones), Kent has always been downtrodden.

It’s never been a destination county, even for invading French, Dutch and Vikings. Its a county you dash through on your way to places like London or Cornwall.

So having our own border and passport has a certain appeal. Just don’t expect me to eat Gypsy Tart, though.

‘Michael Gove emerged from his mole hole and came up with the wheeze of introducing a boundary in Kent in the latest Brexit battle with EU bureaucrats’