Old sayings now lead to blank expressions

It seems everything is no longer ticketyboo with the youngsters. I admit I am unable to ‘get down’ with the ‘hood’ and converse in their own strange language. Likewise, I learn they have no idea of what I am talking about either (‘no change there’, whispers Mrs Nurden).

According to a survey, Britons no longer understand sayings which tripped off the tongues of our parents.

More than 2,000 people aged 18 to 50 were given a list of phrases and asked if they could make head or tail of them. Almost 80% said they couldn’t.

Language changes and it’s a relief we no longer say ‘fab’, ‘groovy’ or ‘swinging’ (except those who pursue unusual carnal delights). But the demise of well-worn phrases which added a certain colour to conversations saddens me.

Despite the continuing scrutiny of Downing Street parties, half of those questioned were unaware of the saying about being unable to organise an alcoholfuelled gathering in a brewery.

Whenever I failed to finish a meal I was told: “Starving children in Africa would be grateful for that.” Alas, I would reply: “Well, they can have it, then.”

I always suspected the authenticity of the claim I would get “square eyes” if I sat too close to the telly but pulled back, just in case. I was horrified at the prospect of my face freezing if the wind changed, always protested that no, I wasn’t born in a barn, and was curious to discover exactly who was the cat’s mother. Other expressions causing blank faces included pearls before swine, nail your colours to the mast, know your onions, a nod is as good as a wink, and a stitch in time saves nine.

My old mum had most of these phrases off pat, although sometimes she inadvertently created new ones of her own. I still recall with amusement the time she wanted a tube of soothing ointment for a bee sting and asked the chemist for “some of that hysterectomy cream”.

‘Half of those questioned were unaware of the saying about being unable to organise an alcoholfuelled gathering in a brewery’