THE BUMPER BLUES

Patrick rips off his bumper while greenlaning

had no idea what to write about for my Writers Rovers piece this month. That was until a nasty little incident while greenlaning in Nottinghamshire. Up until then I would always use my old Defender or hop into a Land Rover belonging to someone else when doing a greenlaning feature for the magazine. When greenlaning in Nottinghamshire recently, the wife and my son Isaac, who will turn two just after the Billing Show, came along to assist with the photography and keep me company. This was the first time that I would be taking my Discovery 2 off-road and I was really looking forward to it. The local GLASS rep Simon Wilson had assured me that all would be okay as the lanes that we would be driving, would not damage my Discovery at all. Simon was in a seriously modified Mitsubishi Pajero SWB. I was in my standard Discovery with Traction Control. I drove just behind them while the rest of the convoy of four followed. You can read all about the lanes on page 80 where I fail to mention the fact that I ripped my bumper off in some rather deep ruts. Things were all going relatively well until that incident despite the fact that I had already smashed a fog light and had to be recovered once. In my defence the rest of the Land Rovers in the convoy drove around the obstacle where I got stuck. I am in no way embarrassed

Iabout it as I was using the day to find out the capabilities and restrictions of my Discovery. They do have ground clearance issues and the low position of my tow hitch was not helping matters at all. I was trying to keep my tyres out of the deep ruts but this became impossible due to the slippery nature of this lane. First the back wheels slid into the ruts and then the front ones inevitably followed. Ali was outside the vehicle snapping away, Isaac had a bottle of milk and was content. I was stressing, the ruts were deeper than my ground clearance. I was accelerating and not going anywhere. I was sure that I could still reverse. Yep, the Discovery slowly went backwards. Ali had this horrified look on her face and she was gesturing for me to stop. “Come and see what you have done,” she shrieked. I slowly climbed out of the Discovery. My bumper was a goner. Someone produced a roll of duct tape and we put it back into position. The show must go on they say. I needed to get a story. Now I had two stories to tell. One was about greenlaning in Nottinghamshire and the other was about how I ripped my bumper off. I hate hurting or damaging a vehicle and I suppose with hindsight anything is avoidable. Screw hindsight. Daniel Coleman from the Discovery 2 Boys Club told me to chat to Paul Mcgill from Discovery 2 Parts. Paul had one that was the wrong colour but in very good condition. He wanted £350 for it and I ordered it. My Discovery needed to go in for a service and they could just pop on the bumper for me. Then once I got it back from them I could just paint it the right colour. Job done. I did for a short while consider ordering an ARB bumper like the one Daniel has on his Discovery 2 that we featured in the June issue of LRM. I’m not sure if I want to go down that route just yet because then I will want to turn my Discovery into an expedition truck. That debate is a topic for a future column.

DISCOVERY 2 PARTS Looking for Discovery 2 parts or accessories? Contact Paul Mcgill on 01206 211623. He delivers anywhere in the UK.