Jack Dobson
Dobbo Down Under
WE ARE currently without our Defender. Bruce is visiting the dealership to have several fairly small but highly-irritating issues addressed. First up we have the fuel tank that leaks when you fill to the top ( yes, I must be getting paid too much to be able to afford such decadence). I assume there is a failed gasket on the top of the tank. The second issue, the windscreen wipers. Now, as all Defender drivers will know, these are fairly useless at the best of times, but when they only operate at one speed (super-fast by Land Rover standards) and will not turn off, then it adds a whole new dimension of irritation. I am led to believe this is an issue with a switch on the wiper motor itself (I replaced the relay in the fuse box and that made no difference). The third issue, the central locking (who said Defenders lacked mod cons?), some of the doors lock whilst some of them simply do not and, as if that was not exciting enough, sometimes all the locks will work and you will be locked out and nearly miss your flight as I did.
Bruce is six years old; much as I love him, I really do not think he should have any of these issues. Is that unreasonable of me? I am waiting for the dealership to get back on whether they will assist with the cost of the repairs and in the meantime you might think I am swanning about in a brand-new Land Rover courtesy car. If only. I was told they did not have any Land Rovers available so instead we have found ourselves with a Kia Sportage parked on our driveway. Such an indignant fall from grace. I took it for a brief run yesterday and was stuck by how soulless the driving experience is.
Sure, everything works, but there is absolutely no road presence. Behind the wheel of a mighty Defender you feel empowered. Behind the wheel of a Sportage, you feel like you made several mistakes in life. It is a ghastly machine.
Thankfully, my Series IIA is still working as Solihull intended – there are no fuel leaks, the wipers work and I have no issues to report with the locking system (wonder why that is). I just love my Series and its simplicity. There are no complicated electrics (well not strictly true if you see the state of my wiring) and when something does fail, you do not need to remove acres of plastic trim to find the issue. Old Girl turns 50 this year. In the last 12 months she has covered nearly 15,000 miles. There cannot be many vehicles of similar vintage that cover this sort of annual mileage (our Defender has covered just 6000 miles). I wonder what will come of the current generation of Land Rovers in 50 years. Will we see classified advertisements for barn find Discovery Sports with patina (ie, supermarket dents and scrapes)? Will anyone actually feel compelled to restore such a thing? I guess, as crazy as that might currently sound, it probably is likely.
In other news I am back from my honeymoon. We only saw one Defender over in Hawaii – a very new Puma, which is weird since you are not meant to be able to get them in the States. For the Jeep Wrangler fans amongst you, Hawaii is the place to go, they are everywhere (we opted for a Chevvy truck instead). After a month’s break I am once again entrenched in the rebuild of Grandma, my Series IIA V8. Over the weekend I was cleaning up and painting the track rods and steering arms, which perhaps is not every persons’ idea of fun. Now that we are into winter here in Canberra, I had to find a way of expediting the painting process – I found 150 degrees in a fan-assisted oven for 15 minutes (turning once) works wonders. Unfortunately I could not complete reassembly of the steering as the ball joints are definitely beyond redemption. Having had a recent scare with worn steering components I am not going to take any chances with a V8-powered Series. I also lavished attention on the brakes. These have always been really good on Grandma but looking at the external condition of the lines, drums and cylinders I decided to replace the lot whilst it is all easy to get at everything. The majority of you that have worked on Series brakes will not believe this, but I got the system bled in under an hour and this morning the pedal remains rock hard. I was expecting to find this job much more of a challenge. Certainly when you look at the Land Rover forum they are often full of people struggling to get their brakes bled. I think this is often a combination of bad luck and people who try to re-use worn components. My advice is just replace the lot during a full rebuild.
Next week I will get cracking with the wiring. I have a brandnew custom loom that looks fantastic and, provided I can resist the temptation to start hacking at it, it should complete the restoration nicely. I am getting precariously close to finishing this project.
When Brit Jack Dobson emigrated to Australia in 2010 he brought his passion for Land Rovers along with him.
“Behind the wheel of a Kia Sportage you feel like you made several mistakes in life. It is a ghastly machine”