Break Point
The former SAS man talks about his new book, life in the military, a recently-acquired Series III and how he can help you to function normally in chaotic situations
Former SAS man talks about his new book, love of Land Rovers and a recently-acquired Series III
Why a book called Break Point?
It has taken me 48 years to compile and it’s not just about my life in the military. I want it to appeal to everyone. Even parents with troubled kids. For years I have told people stories and they were always saying you should write a book. I have learnt valuable lessons and been in some sh@t situations but I have always taken something positive out of them. This approach has helped me to achieve things.
As humans we are geared negatively, we always look for what is going to go wrong? Focus on the positive and you will attract positivity. The book also has this positive underlying tone throughout.
Tell us about the chimp attack
My war started at 10 when I was attacked by a chimp at the circus. The reason I called the book Break Point is because when I was under that chimp I knew that I was going to die if I did not do something. It was one of those moments where you know that you have got to make the situation worse to make it better. I call it short-term discomfort for long-term gain. That was my break point.
People spend all their lives laying underneath that chimp. Like having a toothache for life and never getting it pulled out. We are creatures of habit and don’t like to push boundaries or limits. That is why my company and book are called Break Point.
Why a Series III?
It has nothing to do with my time in the military. We had a white Series III with a safari roof when I was a kid. We all used to pile in the back and it created memories that would last a lifetime. I am a fan of the iconic shape and look of an old Land Rover.
I just love the rawness and primitive forced patina look of my 1983 Series III 109. The fuel tank is under the seat; you change gears with a stick and it is proper old school. If anything goes wrong with the 2.25 petrol engine you can fix it yourself. Just like me, it’s ex-military.
Any funny military Land Rover stories?
We were doing a weekend training exercise down south somewhere and it clashed with a social engagement. We got down there on the Friday afternoon and I was thinking of ways to get out of the exercise and so I nicked this Defender 90. I thrashed it about and hit this hill really fast. Little did I know that it had a dip at the top, which I just flew over. I smashed my head into the steering wheel and there was blood everywhere. I knew that I could use this to my advantage and so I pretended to pass out. It worked a treat and the doctor booked me off for the weekend.
Did you always want to be a soldier?
My grandad was a captain in the Royal Engineers. My dad was never in the military but he ran the house like a military base. There was lots of discipline and order. At 14 I made the decision that the military was for me. I wanted the hardest and toughest option and so I chose the Royal Marines. I did not join to be an electrician or mechanic in the army. I wanted to be a soldier, nothing else. For me it was the natural way to go.
Northern Ireland’s Troubles were your first taste of conflict. What did this do to you?
I joined up when I was 16 and when I turned 18 I thought I was a man but I was still just a kid really. Then I went to Northern Ireland, fresh out of training. During our first contacts I remember seeing a decapitated head in a helmet on the floor. It was a wake-up call. You can’t understand the transition until you are faced with people getting killed. It’s a
“The military turns innocents into grown-ups in a heartbeat”
hard narrative to get your head around. It turns innocents into grown-ups in a heartbeat. Joining the military is serious business and should be treated as such.
The military forces us to conform but you say “failing to conform would be a recurring feature of my military career”. Explain.
Remember the SAS were founded by rogue soldiers and mavericks. They are not about seeking the higher command when you want to take the shot. It’s all about getting the job done. This is why our Special Forces are so successful; they are not run by officers, they are run by the sergeants and all the men.
I have always been someone who questions the status quo with everything. When young we have dreams and hopes, they are taken away when you enter school and become part of a system. If advised to go straight ahead I would always take a look at the left and right paths first. I was a bit of a pain in the arse in the military because I always asked questions. I had to know the purpose or why we were doing it. We live in a society of followers. I prefer to take my own path.
In the book you have strong thoughts on women in combat roles and the Special Forces.
I would love to meet a woman who wants to be in the Special Forces. Often the ones doing the shouting won’t even set foot in a military camp. Men have been going to war for thousands of years now. To try and change that in a heartbeat will lead to so many potential issues. Even more so in the Special Forces. An all-ladies team might work, but when you mix up the dynamic and energy changes.
Military marriages and relationships are already strained at best and to know that your husband is going to perform a specialised role in a war zone with another woman will just add to that strain. If it is not broken then why try and fix it? I started Special Forces selection with 250 and was one of five that made it. There are strong women out there who could make it but they need to be in the military already and want to do selection. Then with the high attrition rate on the course how long will it take to have enough qualified women to make a team? Plus they are built differently to us. They don’t have the same upper body strength. So you would have to change the selection process.
An incident near the end of your Special Forces selection course resulted in failure. How did you motivate yourself to do it all over again?
I had this raging fire of determination to get to the end. I always think of the end result, I don’t focus on the in-between bits. How will this benefit my life? I could feel myself slipping
away after going through the first selection. It was not only the physical, but also the mental aspect. The embers in that fire were still burning though. One of the officers said to me that if you don’t do it again you will regret it for the rest of your life. I knew that the longer I left it the less chance of me doing it again so I got straight back on the horse.
What does it take to succeed on Special Forces selection?
It’s all about mental strength. Gym bunnies are focussed on the image of how it looks from the outside looking in. A lot of those guys are insecure. The Special Forces guy is normally the scrawny, quiet one with a cap on hiding in the corner.
Big people generally can’t do what Special Forces soldiers do. It’s more about being an endurance athlete. Mental strength and not muscle strength is what is needed to succeed at Special Forces selection.
When you have had minimum food, minimum sleep, plus you’re cold and wet, would you then be able to do what is required? That is when you go into survival mode. You don’t get that in the gym. When you’re a kid your parents are always telling you how great you are. Humans need validation. On Special Forces selection no one will give you any sort of validation even if you are the best. It can eat away at you.
How do you know if it is for you?
Anyone can put on a pair of boots and take a backpack and go for a walk in the countryside. I say climb to the top of a mountain in the middle of winter, take off all your kit and sit there for three days. Do you still want to join?
Tell us about your Break Point courses
Our courses are amazing in that we help people to step out of their comfort zones. We use a very alien format that does make people uncomfortable, but we teach them to cope with it and achieve things they never thought possible. Our course unlocks people’s limitations. It’s not about the abseil or the cold water, it’s about creating a message that they can achieve anything.
In the book you say that your life was out of control when doing security work in Baghdad. Was this the lowest point of your life?
I had some serious breakdowns when I left the military. You take the camaraderie for granted and then you miss it. Now you’re on your own and you don’t have your best mates around you all the time. I went through ten years of mayhem when I got out. I was bouncing from one war zone to the next looking for that fix that was going to make me happy. The only problem is that it was never out there, it was in my head.
“Our courses help people to step out of their comfort zones”
“I had serious breakdowns when I le the military”
We need to look inside before we look outside. It took me a long time to realise that.
That period of my life was pretty dark. I was drinking heavily after hours and it fooled me into thinking all was okay. When I look back now at how I put my life in danger all I can say is that it was stupid. I was trying to invite a situation that would just mend it all in a blaze of glory. The drinking helped me handle everything.
You went from soldier for hire to someone who wanted to help people unlock their potential. Break Point was born. Why this huge shift?
The humanitarian work I did in Thailand was the most humbling thing I have ever done. As humans we just want to help other humans to evolve and achieve. When you see families selling their kids you cannot imagine the turmoil the kids go through. I could not believe that humans could be so cruel to each other. When you see and meet people who have gone through hell it just puts things into perspective very quickly.
It made me realise that I want to help other people better their lives. For the first time in my life I truly knew what I wanted to do
I had found my calling. The feedback we get from our Break Point courses made me realise the positive life changing impact we were having on the participants.
Do you get the same satisfaction from the TV show?
When I am on the TV show I represent everyone that was ever in the military. It is not about me. So when I saw my copresenter and best mate Foxy say that he suffered from PTSD on the show, it made me realise the power of television. A strong, powerful guy who had been in the Special Forces admitting to that on national TV. It caused this ripple across the nation. That is what gave me the motivation to continue the show. It is all about the powerful messages, it is not about us stroking our egos.
Why should LRM readers buy your book?
The book is about self-discovery. I hope that it will make people question their own lives and if they are in a good place, then good for them. We should be continually evolving and improving and advancing. Hopefully my book will make people think and change their lives.