Magic of the cup
Competition – charm of our nation’s favourite club DAVID HENNINGHAM on the bewitching nose the Distinguised Gentlemen a bloody so often give and why Rag and Bone Men
Why the underdogs pull off shocks
WELL, you just never know in the FA Cup.” That’s been a common response during a post-match interview from a dejected, humbled and humiliated member of a Premier League team.
As for me, I just don’t get it. I hear people talking about the ‘Magic of the Cup’, but I would like to know where this magic comes from …….Mr Blaine, Mary Poppins, Copperfield? Maybe there’s a witch with a cauldron containing bits of football kit from Premier League players, bubbling away nicely at the start of January whilst the long-nosed evil one stirs the steaming pot, grinning as she chants mumbo-jumbo.
After hours of trying to work out ‘where’ and ‘how’ this magic came about, I gave up and went back to logical thinking.
The questions which popped into my head were ‘What goes through the minds of the two teams (the Distinguished Gentlemen and the Rag-and-Bone Men) when they are drawn against each other? What are the consequences of the results?’
Here is a brief insight of my logical thoughts. The hearts of humble R&B Men beat like they have never beaten before, their eyes bulge, they are on the brink of wetting themselves with excitement as they look forward to locking horns with the Distinguished brigade.
They can make a name for themselves – one day a nobody, but the next day hitting the headlines, becoming a household name, people queuing up for autographs, toast of the town or even squeezing into the history books.
It’s a ‘win-win’ situation for the underdogs – and they know it! Everyone in their ranks wants to be on the team sheet in an attempt to humiliate the big-shots. They are fearless and they want blood!
The R&B Men want the Distinguished ones to show no compromise in their team selection – they want to face the fittest, the richest, the ones with the most glamorous girlfriends, the ones who drive the most eye-catching cars and the ones who are always in the limelight.
Humiliation is the name of the game here. Dreams of making world-class defenders look like little boys who have just learned to tie their laces. Dreams of making the most elegant, creative midfielder look like a clueless, lost motorist without a sat-nav. Dreams of shut- ting out the world’s most feared strikers whilst leaving them bruised and bewildered. And finally, dreams of watching the Distinguished manager stutter, make excuses and hang his head in shame during the post-match interview.
Fear gradually builds in the ranks of the Distinguished squad as the time for locking horns draws closer. Members of this gang are secretly hoping, pleading, praying that the boss does not scribble their name on the team sheet.
It’s really a no-win situation for this lot. If they were to wallop their opponents four, five or six-nil, it may be looked upon as no big deal – it’s the expectation from many supporters.
They may have played extremely well, but, (and a very big ‘but’ I may add), they were only playing the Rag-and-Bone crew! It’s the expectation – the Distinguished brigade are full-time pros who have the strictest training regime and are the best in class.
Even if the Distinguished team give their opponents a battering, the R&B brigade may still come away with a lot of dignity and pride. ‘Did you see how many chances they had to stun the big guns?’‘If only they had a bit more composure in front of goal’ or ‘The Premier League side really had to work hard for the initial breakthrough’ are a few familiar comments post-match.
So, what if the Distinguished boys get beaten? Apart from humiliation, it could possibly be the start of the end for some members of this team.
Players on the brink of becoming a firstteam regular and given a chance to put in a polished display could well be joining the Rag-and-Bones if their display is shabby and slack. It could be the final nail in the coffin for the manager, too, if results have not been clever in the league.
What about the fans’ reaction? Well, the football phone-ins will be inundated with fuming supporters – ‘We were rubbish!’,‘He should have gone three years ago!’ or ‘Total shambles!’ could be some of the phrases.
On the other hand, from the more humble fans, you may hear ‘Fair play’,‘They deserved their win’ or even ‘Well, it’s the magic of the FA Cup!’
So what’s the conclusion? Where does this magic come from? Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you but I really have no idea!
What I do know is that the Rag-and-Bone boys become energized, excited and can’t wait to get stuck into the Distinguished squad once the draw is made. Performance, determination and fitness levels increase dramatically once on the field.
As for the Distinguished lot, well, it’s almost the opposite of the Rag-and-Bones …less energised, flat as a pancake and lack of fight on the day are possible reasons.
The last piece of advice or suggestion for the Distinguished crew is this – be cautious about giving away bits of your kit after a match.You just never know where they will end up. Maybe, just maybe, the player you have just swapped shirts with, or the lifelong supporter you have handed your boots over to, may have a sinister streak.
They may have connections with a witch who specializes in making weird concoctions, which results in ‘the Magic of the FA Cup’.