The 100 most an­noy­ing things about foot­ball

Late Tackle Football Magazine - - TOP 100 -

LATE Tackle has teamed up with our sis­ter pub­li­ca­tions, The Foot­ball League Pa­per and The Non-League Pa­per, to come up with our hit-list of ag­gra­vat­ing things. Do you agree with us? Let us know what you think by email­ing late­tackle@hot­


Don’t give me five: This ob­ses­sion in news­pa­pers with ‘five things we’ve learned’. And lists in gen­eral...


Daft play­ers: Why would you wear short sleeves and gloves?


Silent fans – If you’re go­ing to go to a game, don’t sit there like you’re in a li­brary. Make some noise, have fun.


No gloss: Isn’t it time to kill off the John­stone’s Paint Tro­phy? No­body cares about it un­til the fi­nal.


Sack race: Direc­tors sack­ing man­agers ev­ery five min­utes. Give them a chance to do the job at least.


Garth Crooks: If there’s a man who’s spouted more rub­bish about foot­ball than Garth, we’d love not to meet him/her.


Rub­bing your nose in it: When an op­po­si­tion player scores and then cel­e­brates right in front of you.


Dodgy crosses: How many times do you see so-called pro­fes­sional foot­ballers making a mess of cross­ing the ball. How dif­fi­cult is it to beat the man at the near post? Bring back David Beck­ham.


My Story: When play­ers ‘write’ au­to­bi­ogra­phies and they’re about as ex­cit­ing as a Manch­ester United game.


Short cor­ners: The big men have all gone up and the cor­ner’s about to come in.You then hear the col­lec­tive groan as it’s played short. Has it ever worked?


Where is it?: Try­ing to find an away ground when kick­off is ap­proach­ing and sign­posts have dis­ap­peared.


Bot­tling it: Ref­er­ees award­ing a free­kick on the edge of the box rather than a penalty when it was clearly in­side.


Ex­tra-time: It’s a freez­ing cold night and you’ve al­most got frost­bite.You just want to go home when the op­po­si­tion score a last­minute equaliser to force ex­tra-time…


Bad tim­ing:When you’re try­ing to watch two games on dif­fer­ent chan­nels at the same time – and you keep miss­ing the best

bits of both.


Stats ob­ses­sion: Stop try­ing to turn foot­ball into Amer­i­can Foot­ball. The only stats we want to know about are goals.


Let me in: We know clubs like sell­ing tick­ets on­line now, but open up at least a couple of turn­stiles so peo­ple can pay on the day with that old-fash­ioned thing called money.

Kick-off times: Let’s put the matches on at a time when it makes it as dif­fi­cult as pos­si­ble for the away fans to get there – and get home be­fore four in the morn­ing.



Wem­b­ley woe: Don’t play the FA Cup semi-fi­nals at Wem­b­ley just to earn a few quid. Save it for the fi­nal.


Be­ing sub:You give up your Sun­day morn­ing to stand around watch­ing a load of no­bod­ies play crap foot­ball.


Parachute pay­ments:Why re­ward fail­ure? If clubs are stupid enough to hand out daft con­tracts, they should make sure they’ve got the money to pay for them – with­out need­ing hand­outs.


Crazy prices: The fees for do­mes­tic play­ers are over the top, con­tribut­ing to...


Clubs re­fus­ing to buy Bri­tish: They’d rather shell out mil­lions for Car­los Kick­a­ball than buy home-grown tal­ent.


Be­ing the lino: If you don’t get picked for your Sun­day League team and have to run the line.You get stick from your own team and the op­po­si­tion.You can’t win.


Arsene Wenger:Would some­one at Arse­nal please pay for him to get his eyes tested?


Agents:You don’t get many en­cour­ag­ing their play­ers to stay at the club they’re at, do you?

99. Pogba’s bad combo

95. Garth’s one of a kind

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