THE TALK­ING DEAD

Pun­dits who are a pain

Late Tackle Football Magazine - - CONTENTS -

INA world sat­u­rated by so­cial me­dia, it’s be­com­ing in­creas­ingly easy to gauge the opin­ion of ev­ery Tom, Dick and José.

This par­tic­u­larly ap­plies to foot­ball, with new jour­nal­ists, pun­dits and ‘Ein­steins’ pop­ping up all over the show.

It’s easy to see why these wannabes are ap­pear­ing more fre­quently than new Star­bucks; the qual­ity of pun­ditry on the tele­vi­sion and ra­dio is bang av­er­age at best.

There are some crack­ing pun­dits of course; Danny Murphy, Rio Fer­di­nand, Gary Neville and Jamie Car­ragher all of­fer in­sight­ful opin­ion on a reg­u­lar ba­sis, but it ap­pears that for ev­ery Gary Neville, there’s a Phil.

Poor Phil Neville, he al­ways seems to be in the shadow of his older brother, even more so now than dur­ing their play­ing days.

With a voice that would send the dead to sleep, Phil seems to lack the spark needed to hold the at­ten­tion of foot­ball fans. He may yet im­prove, or he may sim­ply re­tire to his ‘not- as-ecofriendly-as-Gary’s’ manor.

At least Phil can draw at­ten­tion to an im­pres­sive honours list to add some merit to his opin­ions.

Rob­bie Savage has one League Cup to his name, yet sits and crit­i­cises the world’s best for a liv­ing.

With more ridicu­lous state­ments than he had yel­low cards, Savage per­son­i­fies ev­ery­thing that is wrong with foot­ball pun­ditry.

Brash, wit­less and ‘lad­dish’, Savage is the sole cause for mute but­tons be­ing pum­melled within an inch of their life all over the coun­try.

With the ma­jor­ity of Savage’s work be­ing dur­ing com­men­tary, at least we don’t have to look at him, un­like Paul Mer­son, whose bul­bous head fre­quents many a tele­vi­sion on a Satur­day af­ter­noon.

While the rest of the panel snig­ger at his pro­nun­ci­a­tion of the most dif­fi­cult names(!), Mer­son shows that co­pi­ous amounts of al­co­hol must still be run­ning through his veins with his pre­dic­tions.

At least he isn’t to be taken too se­ri­ously, un­like Garth Crooks.

Reg­u­larly voted the worst EVER pun­dit, Crooks must have some se­ri­ous dirt on the top bods at the BBC.

His con­de­scend­ing tone on Foot­ball Fo­cus and ridicu­lous se­lec­tions for ‘team of the week’ provoke con­sis­tent ridicule, yet like the most stub­born of weeds, he man­ages to ap­pear on our TV on a weekly ba­sis.

So it’s easy to see why more and more foot­ball ar­ti­cles are ap­pear­ing on­line, as the masses dis­agree with the pun­ditry of ‘The Talk­ing Dead’.

Like all the best dic­ta­tor­ships, how­ever, this one will take some shift­ing. Best bring a spade.

Illustration: Louis Dyson

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from UK

© PressReader. All rights reserved.