The one and only Carlos Kaiser!
CHRIS LINCOLN tells the remarkable story of the best footballer never to have played the game…
WE CAN all name one. Those players who seem content to sit on the substitutes’ bench and pick up their pay packet at the end of the month, a life of luxury bestowed upon them without breaking a bead of sweat in front of the paying public.
Yet it is questionable if anyone has or will be as delighted to avoid playing to the same extent as Brazilian ‘star’ Carlos Kaiser.
Born Carlos Henrique Raposo in April 1963, a resemblance to legendary German defender Franz Beckenbauer was spotted when he was younger. Carlos quickly adopted the name ‘Kaiser’ as Beckenbauer had done on his way to leading an immensely talented German squad.
The Brazilian version’s potential was soon spotted by Botafago and he was snapped up to join the youth squad before a spell with Flamengo
hat led to a first professional contract with Mexican side Puebla and the beginning of an incredible story for Carlos Kaiser.
Despite showing glimpses of becoming a talented and powerful striker, Kaiser did not even like football.
Combined with a struggle to settle in Mexico, Kaiser realised that he could feign muscle injuries without being identified as a fraud, with the lack of sports science in 1979.
Puebla soon got fed up and Kaiser returned to Botafago. It was here that the striker added more elements to his story, claiming to lack match fitness and purposely signing short-term contracts so he would not be pressed into firstteam action and identified as a fraud. Combined with the development of relationships with professional footballers and journalists, Kaiser leaned on his new friends to spread the word about his ‘talent’.
One journalist even claimed that he had been invited to become a Mexican citizen and train for the national team during his time at Puebla.
Kaiser left Botafago to rejoin Flamengo where another strand was developed. Using his original name Carlos Henrique, Kaiser suggested he was a successful player in Argentina for several seasons.
In fact, Carlos Enrique was that triumphant player but, with no internet available, there was no evidence to suggest that Kaiser was fiddling the truth again.
The next step was a short spell in France with Ajaccio. The same ‘injury problems’ surfaced and Kaiser soon returned to Brazil.
Again using the knowledge that nobody could question his claims without the support of Google, he returned with the story that he had been Ajaccio’s top goalscorer – without playing!
Yet it was his next stop that nearly caught him out. Brazilian side Bangu soon got fed up of the excuses and demanded Kaiser played.
With ten minutes remaining, Kaiser was told to warm up and prepare to make his debut. It was time to think quick. As he jogged down one side of the pitch, Kaiser noticed a group of fans shouting at him, thus providing the perfect opportunity to avoid his debut.
Kaiser jumped into the crowd, started a fight and was duly sent off before coming on.
Yet with his position under threat, Kaiser claimed the fans had called him a thief and he was duly granted a new contract after being forgiven!
The next chapter was created at Fluminense. As mobile phones began to make an appearance, whilst Kaiser didn’t, the specialist fraudster used the recent technology to add the next strand to the plot.
He began to pretend to have conversations with other clubs to suggest that he had attracted interest from elsewhere. Another ploy to suggest he was better than he was.
Kaiser went on to play for four more clubs with similar tales. He was never caught during his ‘playing career’ and enjoyed a life of luxury. Continuing to develop friendships with some of the big names in Brazilian football, Kaiser was a key figure on the nightclub scene, ensuring he made alliances with key personnel whilst reaping the benefits of a footballer’s salary.
Now working as a personal trainer, the 54year-old has left behind a quite remarkable story of two decades in football without playing a single game.Who said footballers were not intelligent?