‘Just have a swing at one or I’ll bring back the big guns and they’ll knock your head off...’
I’M going to reflect on a couple of memorable representative matches I played in this week back in the 1990s.
I was lucky enough to be selected to play for the Minor Counties against Australia in 1997 and South Africa the following year.
And they were experiences which I will never forget.
IT was a bit surreal to get a call - and then a letter - in 1997 to say I had been selected to play for the MINOR COUNTIES against the touring Aussies at Jesmond.
I’d played just over a year of Minor Counties cricket. In 1996 I’d done ok and in the early part of ‘97 I was going reasonably well, but due to other commitments I hadn’t played a huge amount.
So to get picked to play in the north east was amazing, perhaps there was a lot of unavailable players, who knows?
Now for people who don’t know Jesmond, it’s a tiny ground, flat wicket, but a lovely place to play cricket.
The nightlife isn’t so bad either. I’d been up there on a northern tour with Staffs - playing Northumberland and Cumberland - in 1996, so knew my way around.
But let’s focus on the cricket.
I’d been released by Derbyshire earlier in my career and this match was a great experience for me because you never think something like that is going to come around.
It was in the days where Ashes tours were longer and there was more cricket in between the Tests, and the tourists were obliged to play a Minor Counties representative team.
It was a blazing hot day, there was a big crowd, but the match was played in the right spirit - it almost had a benefit match feel to it. The Aussies were in between Tests, but fielded a strong side, with Steve Waugh as skipper, Justin Langer, Michael Bevan, Greg Blewett, Michael Slater and a trio of fine bowlers in Paul Reiffel, Michael Kasprowicz and Brendon Julian.
The great Shane Warne was in the touring squad but didn’t play in the fixture, although he was part of the day.
The Aussies got 290, with Julian playing as a batsman - blazing 106. His second 50 came off something silly like 16 balls. We battled gamely and fell nine runs short, but at the end it was the part-time bowlers turning their arm over.
We had a decent, if young, attack, with the legendary Marcus Sharp, Lincolnshire’s Simon Oakes, myself, Jon Fielding and Simon Myles.
I knew a fair few of the lads, and in Oakes we had the quickest thing on the minor counties circuit at the time.
Slater started whoosing at things from the word go, while Langer was more circumspect - and was dismissed by yours truly coming on first change.
I was decent against left-handers because my wrist position was wrong and I pushed the ball across them.
He attempted to drive one which wasn’t quite there and got a big nick through to my Staffordshire teammate Mark Humphries.
Late on, Darren Berry - the Aussies’ reserve keeper - then had a massive slog at one and was bowled to give me my second wicket.
I can recall Sharpy bowling his 10 overs straight through for 29 and then giving me a big grin when he finished and saying ‘I’ve finished my lot, now just 30 overs of chasing leather.’
In reply our top four were made to work hard by Kasprowicz, Reiffel and Julian, but our skipper Ian Cockbain made 82 in the middle order.
He was a wily old fox. He blocked it out while the frontline bowlers were on and then cashed in when the parttimers came on!
But the Aussies were always cruising with the ball, although it was a very good day.
It was a game which took me out of my comfort zone, but the Aussies treated us with respect.
The following year it was South Africa at Stone. It was great to be playing locally, but my only disappointment was that the game wasn’t at Little Stoke!
My mum and dad hadn’t travelled to watch me play at Jesmond because it was a long journey.
But they were there against the South Africans... even though mum wasn’t overly keen on Stone!
This match had quite a different feel to it. It was early on in the tour and the South Africans had a better balance to their side.
There was an edge to the match and you could tell that South Africa were taking no prisoners.
In truth they ran out easy winners. They scored 283 and we were bowled out for 189.
Thankfully, Allan Donald and Shaun Pollock were not playing, but their attack still consisted of Nantie Hayward, Mkhaya Ntini, Steve Elworthy and spinner Paul Adams.
I had a tendency to accidently bowl big inswingers and that happened on this day.
I bowled Adam Bacher with an inducker, and later had Jacques Kallis lbw.
To get a player of Kallis’ calibre out regardless of the type of match - was a huge boost for my confidence.
The South Africans, for me, were more ruthless than the Aussies. I recall Elworthy accidently beaming either Steve Dean or Laurie Potter early in our run chase.
And having Hayward showed their killer streak. I played with Nantie at Middlesex and he’s ruthless. He doesn’t know how to bowl slowly. He was quick.
I actually managed to put on 40 for the last wicket with my Staffordshire colleague Humphries. I made six not out, in case you are wondering!
Humpty played beautifully and I was more content with trying to work out what Adams - once nicknamed the frog in the blender - was doing.
I don’t think my approach was textbook.
At one stage, Hansie Cronje, the South Africa captain, was stood at silly mid-off as I faced Adams.
He said: ‘Just have a swing or I’ll bring the big guns back and they will knock your head off.’
I’m actually thinking he might do this, but I was having fun frustrating them. As it was he did bring Ntini back to dismiss Humpty - and I had to face him as well.
It wasn’t as bad as I’d feared because I was thinking it would be like death on a stick.
I was quite happy with my day’s work and at the end there was a token man of the match award for each side.
I was our winner, probably because I was the local lad, and I’ve still got the bottle of Champagne in my loft.
That game was another great experience and it was fantastic to be able to play close to home in front of lots of friends. There were nerves, of course, and I didn’t want to disappear around the ground.
But you have to accept that in those games you are going to get hit.
However, you soak up the day and at the end of it, you’ve had a little taste of international cricket.