Tom Burnett

- what if Leek had a monorail?

AS REGULAR readers of this column may know, I have written a number of times about transportation issues affecting Leek and surrounding areas of the Staffordshire Moorlands.

The Queen of the Moorlands has a number of issues that make getting in or around a less smooth experience than it could be.

Our lack of a railway is a key issue that disconnects us from the rest of the country in terms of public transport – while bus services to our town seem to decrease in number with depressing frequency.

The road network isn’t much better, and there isn’t a great deal that can be done about it.

The unfortunate reality is that a lot of our streets were built for a 19th century mill town - not 21st century levels of car ownership.

Aside from the added congestion on the roads there is also the issue of parking. We have a number of large buildings that could be converted into housing – but people living nearby already have legitimate concerns about parking issues in their areas.

Short of demolishing most of the town centre and starting again with an American-style grid system we’re stuck with it.

It’s clear something needs to be done to deal with transport issues in Leek – probably a number of things. The following is not one of them.

When I’m not writing, one of the ways I like wasting my time is by watching the good seasons of The Simpsons.

And, as everyone knows, one of the best episodes is Marge vs The Monorail – which sees Springfield invest in a dodgy monorail.

It’s not very often that American cartoons from the 1990s and transport issues in the Staffordshire Moorlands intersect, and with good reason.

But for a bit of fun, let’s assume the town had a £3million windfall and invested in a monorail.

Given it would glide as softly as a cloud, it would really reduce noise pollution on key routes into the town and make life a lot quieter for residents of those areas.

Concerns about there being a chance the track would bend aside it may also reduce the number of traffic accidents on roads in the town as well.

It may also prove to be a boost to tourism – after all, the monorail put Brockway, Ogdenville and North Haverbrook on the map.

As a bonus there are currently only about four monorail systems in the UK – and one of those is at Alton Towers.

If Leek had one it would mean the Staffordshire Moorlands was the area with the most monorails in Britain. We could put that on the signs or something.

Maybe not though, maybe it’s more of a Shelbyville idea.