Huge sup­port from the WI fam­ily

Let's Talk - - CONTENTS -

Ear­lier in the year my daugh­ter and her ‘fella’ an­nounced that they were to get mar­ried “Hurrah!” I shouted, “I can dress up posh, and we can have a big fam­ily do.”

She soon let it be known that it would be a quiet af­fair, with mainly fam­ily and close friends in­vited. It’s al­ways a grand oc­ca­sion when some­one gets wed, an ex­cuse to gather all your loved ones around you and cel­e­brate. In­vi­ta­tions went out (as did money, from our bank ac­count) and the months wiz­zed by in great ex­pec­ta­tion.

Six weeks prior to ‘The Day’, I re­ceived news that my brother had can­cer, such sad news. But, to­day, mir­a­cles do oc­cur, new treat­ments are amaz­ing, and yes, it was go­ing to be a dif­fi­cult time, es­pe­cially as he lived in the Mid­lands, but we would deal with it.

I went to visit him in hos­pi­tal, and I im­me­di­ately re­alised it was not good. He had can­cer of the liver, lungs and oe­soph­a­gus. He was un­able to swal­low and al­though had started chemo­ther­apy, things were not go­ing well. Within three weeks he had de­te­ri­o­rated so much that he was sent home with roundthe-clock care and with no fur­ther treat­ment or ex­pec­ta­tion of any improve­ment.

I vis­ited and spent a cou­ple of nights car­ing for him. It was heart­break­ing. He has two daugh­ters who, un­der­stand­ably were dev­as­tated, and un­able to bare los­ing their beloved dad (their mum had died five years ear­lier). They were such a close fam­ily, liv­ing only yards from each other.

David died just two days be­fore Stephanie’s wed­ding, ap­prox­i­mately seven weeks af­ter his ini­tial di­ag­no­sis.

How do you deal with such sad­ness and hap­pi­ness all in one go? I think know­ing he didn’t have long to live al­lowed us to be­gin the griev­ing process in ad­vance. I, and I think my daugh­ter, were fear­ful that he would pass away the same day as she was to be mar­ried.

I know that’s sounds cal­lous, and yes, I felt aw­ful, even think­ing about it, but we are all hu­man, and if that had hap­pened, how­ever could we have coped?

Deal­ing with emo­tions, such as I have dis­closed here, is dif­fi­cult. We all know what it’s like to cel­e­brate fam­ily wed­dings, and also how we feel when a loved one dies ... manag­ing the two to­gether was hor­rid, but with sup­port from each other we have come out on the other side.

And, we were de­lighted that my brother’s old­est daugh­ter at­tended the wed­ding.

I men­tioned the sup­port of fam­ily, well my other fam­ily, my WI fam­ily, were also un­be­liev­ably sup­port­ive, with emails and hugs when­ever I saw them. It does make a dif­fer­ence when you are vul­ner­a­ble, to know that some­one re­ally cares.

The WI is not just about ed­u­ca­tion and car­ing for the en­vi­ron­ment ... it’s about car­ing for each other.

Thurs­day, Novem­ber 22. Christ­mas Fair/Un­wanted-Un­fin­ished sale. Fed­er­a­tion Of­fice 10-1pm; Thurs­day, Novem­ber 29. Pewter work­shop. Fed­er­a­tion Of­fice; Wed­nes­day, De­cem­ber 5. Au­di­tions Day. Thomp­son Vil­lage Hall.

Call 01603 624580 for in­for­ma­tion.

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