On my mind
THE best Christmas presents are those you need to exchange for those things you really want. So I have been checking some useful gifts.
My favourite is the extra strength Grumpy Old Bloke Mints. The writing on the tin promises a grump-free day for the most cantankerous senior member of the family. For those young people in search for relief of the angst of the world is the instant boy/girl friend.
Drop this 12-inch replica into a bucket of lukewarm water and it will expand to six times its size.
For marginalised English people in local communities in Wales, the business firm “Change your Identity to Fit In” have produced the highly innovative Welsh Accent Breath Spray. Two squirts and you talk like a native.
I am told that these are now being produced for post Brexit refugees from Britain in a number of European language forms.
Waiting with arms open is German Chancellor Meghan Markle, now a member of the Saxe-Coburg-Gotha family at the Palace.
Her recent message to the UK was “Vorsprung durch Technik”, which roughly translated means “You don’t make anything, so we won’t miss you. Tschuss”.
However, among Brexit concerns is that of the impact that it will have on Santa and his travels in the future.
Lapland, part of Finland, is in the EU and he could face extensive checks at the border on his goods, require a visa to come in and have to make special arrangements for the reindeer who already are being subjected to name calling, as are other Lapland visitors with big shiny noses.
Finally a big seller will be Enid Blyton’s “Five try to find a coffee shop open in Carmarthenshire after 6pm” published by the Tourist Office. All products are available in F. Ake stores Pwll.
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