The key to a happy relationship?

HAVE a guess what, according to a recent nationwide survey of 2,000 couples, are the biggest contributions to a happy relationship over many years. Go on – have a guess. You’ve obviously got nothing more important to do if you’re reading this.

Some of the answers that couples gave were surprising, well at least to me.

Like: “Knowing each other’s Pin numbers”.

I mean, come on.

I’m all for committing to a relationship 150% – but there have to be sensible limits!

Many ladies said that regular kisses and cuddles – or cwtches as we say around these parts – play an important part.

And, as long as they don’t involve the milkman, I’m all for that.

Many couples stick to the old adage: “Never go to sleep on an argument”.

So have I . . . since the night we had a tiff . . . She went to sleep on an argument – and I went to sleep on a sofa.

It’s also important to be able to openly and calmly discuss potential disagreements before they start to silently fester over many weeks, eventually exploding into a full-blown argument that ends up with crockery being thrown, your favourite shirt being attacked by scissors and the front door slamming as she goes off to her mother’s, vowing never ever to return: “Even if you got down on your one good knee and begged me to come back!”

Am I speaking from experience? Certainly not!

That was all hypothetical. Besides which, my knee’s much better now.

Other secrets of happy relationships are having no secrets from each other (apart from your Pin number!) and being diplomatic, ie when your good lady asks you if her bum looks big in her new skinny jeans, it’s best not to reply: “Can you define ‘big’?”

One-fifth of the couples surveyed said it’s important to have two television sets – in different rooms, obviously, otherwise it would definitely lead to arguments. I disagree.

In our house there’s just one TV and one person in charge of the remote control. Always.

Although, if I ask her nicely, she will hand it over occasionally . . .