A grand day out
GRANDPARENTS LOOKING AFTER THE KIDS THIS SUMMER? LISA SALMON SUGGESTS SEVEN THINGS TO CONSIDER TO STOP FAMILY ROWS
MOST parents don’t like the idea of sending their babies or young children to childcare – and that’s before even considering the often-crippling costs.
But that’s where grandparents come in. Not only do they usually provide their services free of charge – when asked whether or not grandparents should be paid for regular childcare, two thirds of grandparents surveyed by Gransnet said no – they love their grandchildren, so where better to leave your kids than with someone who loves them?
The Gransnet (gransnet.com) survey found 51% of grandparents regularly look after their grandchildren all year round, and a further 10% say they help out during school holidays, most often looking after two grandchildren for one or two days a week (56% of grandcarers), although a minority (7%) provide childcare five days a week.
But while a fifth of parents said help with childcare from grandparents was the only way they could afford to go back to work, and more than a third (36%) said the best thing about the arrangement is the money they save, it isn’t always plain sailing when grandparents care for their grandkids.
“Grandparents provide so much free childcare, often making themselves available at the drop of a hat if the child is unwell and a parent has an appointment,” says Gransnet editor Lara Crisp “They sacrifice their own holiday time, and often give up work earlier than they would have otherwise, sometimes even putting themselves in a financially insecure position.”
Some grandcarers (12%) say they’re exhausted by their caring role, or that childcare has had an adverse effect on their physical health.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, there’s also the potential rows the arrangement can cause, because, while having grandcarers might be handy and free, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll look after the children the way parents want, or that they’ll agree with the parenting rules.
Here are seven things to think about to avoid tensions in a grandcarers’ arrangement:
1 TIMEKEEPING
PARENTS’ timekeeping is one of the biggest gripes for grandcarers, with 24% saying it causes tension.
“You’d think grateful adult children would make sure their parents were not further put out, yet it seems that when it comes to common consideration – like sticking to pick-up times – parents’ timekeeping can be a bit laissez-faire,” says Lara.
“Looking after small children can be exhausting at the best of times, and no matter how much grandparents may love this s quality time with their treasured grandchildren, they also value – and need – their own downtime and feel understandably irked if parents mess them around and are late for collecting their offspring on a regular basis.
“Grandparents may also have their own busy social lives and at times this casual lack of consideration suggests parents think their own time is more valuable.”
2 SCREEN TIME
THE second biggest gripe for grandparents is the amount of screen time children are allowed.
So parents and grandparents need to be clear on what’s allowed a – bearing in mind there’s a good chance the kids will think they can have more screentime with grandma and grandad because they might be a ‘soft touch’.