My children can’t speak, but they can still

DOUBLE TROUBLE FOR A FIRST-TIME DAD OF TWINS

THE twins’ language skills are developing nicely.

Emma now says ‘poo’ when she’s been to the toilet, which is greeted with overenthusiastic applause by Victoria and I.

This recognition of the act and words attributed to it are a step forward, however, I’m concerned this is sending a mixed message.

Emma is unsure whether we’re congratulating her on the ‘poo’ itself or the use of language. As a result of which, she does seem to be going to the toilet more frequently,

simply for the adulation.

Thomas is also moving in the right direction. He is mimicking farmyard animals when prompted by pictures. To be fair, the impressions are generally terrible, and you wouldn’t pay to see them, but the important thing is he knows what sound a cow makes.

Interestingly, Victoria and I have adapted our own use of language as parents.

For example, Victoria might say: “Are you hungry Emma? Yes, you are. Daddy needs to stop looking at his phone, go to the shop and buy you milk.”

This is a self-explanatory message addressed to me through a third party (Emma) telling me to purchase milk.

Another variation on the theme might be “Daddy’s going to take you to the park now, so mummy can do some ironing”.

Again, this is a previously undiscussed idea for me to do something with the children.

It’s news to me but I’m left with little or no option but to do what the twins now expect of me.

There are variations but they essentially all boil down to ways of telling me to do something.

I too, have adopted a similar style of communication.