On my mind

THE last weeks have been hectic drawing up plans to become a candidate in the various future European elections.

It’s clear as dumpling broth that I could represent one of the electoral districts in the Bundestag, now that I understand that the verb comes at the end of the sentence in German.

And the word in the Reichstag is that there is nothing better than sipping a Berliner Kindl Weisse with Meghan Merkel on the Ku’damm.

On the other hand, as a born again republican, being one of 577 députés in the French Assemblée nationale is tempting.

As Napoleon said in French: ‘nothing is impossible’ but ‘you should mind your onions’. But I do have excellent credentials - I have O-level proficiency in French, I have seen Les Misérables twice and Eric Cantona is my hero.

Then, having married into a Flemish family, the federal Chamber of Representatives in Brussels, Brexitland, is only a Eurostar trip away.

And despite the proud Flanders family history of resistance to the French-speaking bourgeoisie, I would never refuse a waffle or a Belgian bun with a Walloon.

If you think the above fantasy is absurd, our own elections in Wales offers something just as daft. It has been reported that around 23 candidates for the May 6 election do not live in Wales. It seems most of them are living in England, one in Scotland and another in the Isle of Man. How ludicrous is that?

To seek to serve the people of Wales in a Welsh Government while living in another country is audacious and arrogant beyond belief. Whatever the motive might be for such an ambition – career advancement, political opportunism, financial gain – at present it is legal if outrageous and needs to be addressed.