A Christmas surprise for Uncle Cledwyn. But not the one he’s expecting!

IT’S a question many of us ask each Christmas – exactly what do you buy for someone who’s impossible to buy a present for? There was a time long ago when male family members would receive socks for Christmas – but, in my view, buying someone socks these days means no thought went into it.

If I unwrap a pair on December 25th I’ll be bitterly disappointed after dropping enough hints that all I want is a Beano annual and a motorhome.

My Uncle Cledwyn has never read a book in his life, never bought a CD or a DVD and only brings out his razor when there’s an ‘Z’ in the month, so he doesn’t have much use for after shave.

So, since I last visited him in his ‘gated community’ – and with good behaviour he’ll be out in March - I’ve wondered what Christmas present to buy him.

Then I remembered he’d heavily mentioned he wanted to see one more West End show before he moved on to a better place - his luxury time-share apartment in Aberystwyth - so decided to buy him a theatre token, enabling him to see any show he chose.

Prices started at £25, more than I intended to spend, but as Cledwyn’s been very good to me over the years by staying away from my house, I reckoned he deserved it.

Luckily, before I ordered the voucher, I checked on the price of London theatre tickets and as Frankie Howerd might have said, “My flabber was well and truly gasted!”

The price of a Saturday night seat in the stalls to see the new musical “Moulin Rouge” is £250 while tickets for “The Lion King”, “Phantom Of The Opera” and “Les Miserables” hover just below £200… no discounts for children!

While it’s cheaper to see all the popular West End hits midweek, it’ll still cost a family of four around £400.

When I realised a £25 theatre token would barely buy Uncle Cledwyn an orange juice and bag of nuts in the intermission, I changed my mind.

I do hope he likes his new socks.