How to mould your child’s development
PARENTING EXPERTS TALK THROUGH THE KEY STAGES FOR UNDER-FIVES. BY KATIE WRIGHT
THE Princess of Wales has unveiled her latest project, said to be her ‘life’s work’, focusing on how childhood experiences impact adult lives.
The Shaping Us campaign, introduced with a claymation video showing a young girl growing from the age of zero to five, aims to improve society’s understanding of how a child’s environment and interactions shape their adulthood.
How can you best support the little ones in your life as they grow? Here, psychology experts talk through the key developmental milestones for under-fives...
1. SENSORY INTEGRATION
“In the first two years of life, the brain undergoes the most rapid growth and development,” says senior family therapist Dr Kalanit BenAri, author of Small Steps To Great Parenting (kalanitbenari.com).
Sensory integration refers to the brain’s processing of the senses, she explains: “Babies need space to move, crawl and play, while toddlers benefit from opportunities to develop large and fine motor skills through physical activities, puzzles, drawing and cutting with scissors, jumping and more.”
That’s why it’s important for caregivers to provide a safe space for babies to try out different sensory-stimulating activities.
“Allow time for each stage to be practised, and don’t rush development. For example, crawling is crucial for right brain and left brain connection, that can impact later emotional regulation, concentration, academic success and more.”
2. FIRST WORDS
“Language development starts before a child can speak,” says Matt Buttery, CEO of Triple P Positive Parenting Programme (triplep.net). “Whether making sounds, gurgling or using facial expressions, your child is trying to communicate with you, and it’s important to respond by repeating the sounds or expressions back to them.”
He recommends spending 15 to 30 minutes a day talking and listening to your child without distractions, to help them turn those experimental babbling sounds into words.
3. FIRST PLAY DATE
Play dates with other toddlers are an important step in encouraging social skills.
“They can be a way for your child to learn about sharing, taking turns, and communicating what they want in a constructive way,” says Matt.
“Setting a good example will help your child to understand which behaviours are more desirable. Teach them how to share cooperatively and praise that behaviour when it happens.”
4. LEARNING TO READ
“This is a crucial building block in their educational development, but also in developing their creativity and imagination,” says Matt, who recommends setting aside some reading time every day for three-year-olds and up.
“Creating an encouraging, positive learning environment will make them eager to start to read by themselves, as they learn more words as they get older,” he continues. “However, don’t force your child to listen to a story if they are not interested – try another time.”
5. EXPRESSING IDENTITY
At around three or four years old, children start using games to try out different characters.
“The developmental impulse is to express the many facets of the self,” Dr Ben-Ari explains. “The healthy outcome is that the child develops a secure, differentiated and integrated sense of self.”
She recommends parents “reflect back to the child whatever character they are trying, without judgment or criticism.
“The message the child receives is ‘It’s OK to be yourself’.”