I became fashion victim with a trick up my sleeve
THERE’S a smart new café in town and my friend Brian suggested we gave it a try.
As we have tried almost every café in Cheshire we decided to do just that.
It was very busy and the only table we could find was a small two seater in the centre of the café.
The ambiance (now all important) was most impressive and I felt a little underdressed for the occasion being clad in my heavy dog walking coat.
We had a very pleasant hour or so sipping coffee and nibbling pastries.
The weather had worsened considerably by the time we were ready to leave and I was glad for the decision I had made to wear my three-layered Triple Fat Goose jacket.
Whilst Brian made a visit to the bathroom I paid the bill, took my jacket off the back of my chair and looked forward to snuggling inside the layers of goose feathers.
Unfortunately one of the inner layers of my coat had twisted and I found my arm
stuck mid-way down the wrong sleeve.
At this stage Brian returned shouting from several tables away, “What are you doing with your goose jacket?”
The entire restaurant turned to see me wrestling with a face-full of bulging
feathers. “Give it here,” said Brian grabbing my one loose sleeve and with one almighty thrust twisted it around his arm.
“What am I supposed to do now?” I yelled as the sleeve that held me like a vice tightened.
“Well I’m stuck on my sleeve until you get out of your sleeve.”
“How the hell can I do that when you are facing the opposite way to me and every move you make is tightening my sleeve?”
“This was your fault,” I said. “I was doing alright until you started shoving your arm in.”
By this time we had become the floor show and I suspect a number of customers thought we were the mid-afternoon floor show.
I had the horrible feeling we would be forced to leave the café tied together facing opposite directions like conjoined twins.
Thankfully a kind lady talked us through a simple manoeuvre which parted us without the need for surgery.
To that lady I offer my sincere thanks.
I thought for one moment we were about to get a round of applause but we legged it through the door before anyone took a photo.
How embarrassing would that have been?