Rodney Casbierd

Santa should watch his waste

Santa Claus was a notable absentee from November’s COP26 climate summit.

Whilst most world leaders took time out of their busy lifestyle to jet into Scotland from all corners of the planet to discuss the causes of climate change during a multi-course banquet at their vast riverside conference-centre, they were all snubbed by the elusive figure responsible for creating much of the problem.

In the final quarter of each year, Santa’s organisation is the main engine of a massive surge in unrestrained consumerism.

We are all brain-washed by his devious marketing machine into spending money we do not have on manufactured goods to offer as unwanted gifts to friends and family.

Our presents, wrapped in non-recyclable paper, are then delivered worldwide from his logistics centre in the increasingly balmy North Pole racking up millions of wasteful sleigh air-miles in the process.

And by recommending final delivery via chimney he continues to encourage the use of heavily polluting coal and log fires.

It should therefore come as no surprise that one of the less publicised conclusions from the COP26 summit was that Santa is a very naughty man.

And he must be apprehended.

But how to catch and stop such a master of disguise in his bright red suit and white beard?

Especially when he uses subtle aliases such as ‘Father Christmas’ and ‘Saint Nicholas’.

Well, on December 25, we all have an opportunity to catch him in the act.

So, be watchful, and if you spot him be sure to immediately report it to the Maidenhead Advertiser.

We will do the rest. Happy Christmas.