Helen MacDonald
Mind your pleases and queues
By the time you read this, every last vestige of media, be it TV, radio, newspaper or internet, will have spoken or written about the funeral of the Queen.
Hopefully there will have been mostly positive comments made in the UK, but no matter what anyone’s feelings are about the monarchy, surely every British person must be truly proud of the flawless, impressive and breathtaking manner in which all the ceremonial rituals have been performed.
Doesn’t it make one swell with pride? Can you think of any other country that could produce anything approaching the thrillingly choreographed processions and displays of tradition that we have seen in the last couple of weeks?
Not only that, I can’t resist pointing out that once again British people have shown the world how to queue.
If only all other countries could learn! Those faultless ceremonies mirrored the Queen’s impeccable behaviour over practically the whole of her adult life as our sovereign.
Yes, she’s had many privileges, visited myriad places, had staff to supply her every need, (well, materially, if not emotionally or intellectually), but also setbacks and family worries just like the rest of us.
How many of us have carried on working into our nineties?
Of course, she has had the best of care, but who would like to wake up each morning with the aches and pains of the elderly, knowing that they cannot turn over and rest a while longer.
She has had to prepare for a day spent looking ‘happy and glorious’ whilst tapping dozens of shoulders with a sword, hooking medals onto peoples’ chests or pretending to be delighted to mark the opening of some institution.
Add on the number of speeches of all shapes, size, interest (or lack of) and eloquence (or not), that the Queen will have had to listen to in her lifetime, and it must be gargantuan.
How has she managed to look as though she is hanging on every word, and refrained from yawning, whilst secretly wishing she was at home, watching Coronation Street?
Some of you will be thinking that she wouldn’t have had to bear any of that if we were a republic.
But what might all of us have to bear instead?
Without naming names, doesn’t the thought of any one of those senior MPs, of any party, being elected President, or even worse, some despot with enough money to buy the title, with all the pomp and power that is entailed, (maybe not immediately but would soon be somehow acquired) fill you with horror?