Helen MacDonald

Mystery of my notes to self

Faced with filling in pestilent online forms to renew my driving licence, I needed my National Insurance number.

I could either trawl through numerous paper folders to find it, or try my very many online files, the drawback being that I don’t always give them self-evident names. I decided to search online anyway, and whilst peering into likely folders and files, I came across one entitled ‘GOING MAD’, last opened in July 2019.

Having absolutely no recollection of what it was about, I just had to have a look.

I found a list, the first entry being ‘getting silly’ – which I presumed was me expressing the fear that I’m losing my marbles.

Four years later, I have that feeling practically daily.

Next note was ‘Sainsbury’s Taplow. debit card at home’.

So, I’d gone shopping without a means of paying! And I actually remember that.

At least I haven’t done that again – yet. Then came the words ‘ill – cough – tummy’, followed by ‘eye clinic appointment for Feb 20, referred for cataract’.

I can’t really see the connection, except that I was maybe feeling grotty and the referral and six-month wait for an eye clinic appointment had made me somewhat grumpy.

Next entry was more worrying – ‘heated quiche using timer – when it buzzed and I went to get the quiche out I realised that I hadn’t actually put it in!’

This is followed by a rather scary note saying ‘smashed egg on floor used microwave as timer – flame coming out of light’.

I have no understanding of this and only the vaguest of memories, but the microwave is still working.

It gets worse.

‘Can’t get into online banking and spent an hour on the phone – no joy – sending new card. RBS problems too – went to talk to them in person and discovered the branch had closed down a year ago’.

Brace yourselves for the last entry – ‘drove down wrong road when going to Cumberland Lodge in Windsor Great Park’. What an anti-climax.

I’m not sure how to react to these notes. I can look at them two ways.

Negative – I was definitely starting to lose my marbles, or positive, four years later, I’m still managing to appear sane most of the time, (unless my friends say different), so similar more recent episodes are perhaps nothing to worry about.

On the other hand, accidentally leaving the car door ajar all night a few weeks ago, hence activating the indoor light and therefore draining the battery, might be considered somewhat perturbing (my thanks to my quite recent new neighbours who came to my rescue).

So an avalanche of reassuring letters from the older (but still sane) generations describing similar episodes would be very welcome. Even better, from much younger generations.