Jenny’s five top tips to stay calm in the holidays
1. BRAINSTORM ACTIVITIES WITH YOUR CHILDREN
Ask your children what they would like to do over the holidays using some ideas of your own as a starting point. Creating a simple mind map on a piece of paper and then sticking the resulting plan on the fridge is all you need to do and you can tick the activities off as you do them.
This is great for giving children a sense of responsibility and they might surprise you with the things that they want to do which might be as simple as going to feed the ducks or revisiting a local park. 2. MAKE TIME TO RELAX
Activities are important but so is down time for you and your children.
For younger children something that is both active and relaxing is a good place to start, something as simple as blowing bubbles or reading stories can be great fun whilst relaxing.
A brilliant free resource is Cosmic Kids yoga adventures on Youtube. For teenagers the Chill Skills range of MP3s which can be listened to online are a good first step. 3. TALK ABOUT EMOTIONS
Watching the new film Inside out as a family offers a great starting point for adding to children’s emotional vocabulary.
When you can talk about feelings together children have a better chance of working through their big feelings and coming out the other side.
These printable figures are a great visual reminder from the film and can be a good start to a discussion. 4. TAKE A DIFFERENT APPROACH TO DEALING WITH ARGUMENTS
If you have more than one child you may find that you spend lots of time refereeing various arguments.
As parents we have more chance of restoring order if we can remain calm (or at least fake it until we make it!).
A useful approach which I share with parents and use myself is FAVE which stands for ‘first acknowledge, validate and empathise’. Everybody likes to be heard and understood when they are upset.
In practise it may sound a bit like this: Validate –‘You’re feeling angry that your sister has the toy that you want to play with’. Acknowledge - ‘You really want the toy’. Empathise - ‘It’s hard waiting for her to finish playing with it’.
Generally this helps children to feel listened to and understood. It helps them to learn how to articulate their feelings which can lead to them being able to speak up for themselves and sort out their own disagreements. 5. INJECT SOME FUN INTO THE DAY
One great way to inject a bit of fun into the grumpiest of days is with some music, which is a great mood enhancer.
Make a playlist with a title like ‘Family Dance Party’ – get the children to include their favourite tracks and add some of yours too.
You’re aiming for lively and upbeat, anything that will get everyone moving. When it’s getting late in the afternoon or you’ve not had much chance to get out due to bad weather announce that it’s time to boogie.
For more creative ways to help your family become more calm and connected find Jenny on facebook under Connect Emotional Education, on Twitter @ JenConnectEmEd or through her website.