I nearly took my own life because of acting rejections
FORMER CORRIE STAR REVEALS HIS DRINK AND DRUGS DESPAIR AS HE STRUGGLED FOR WORK
TROUBLED actor Sean Ward has spoken candidly about his addiction hell that led him to contemplate suicide after being rejected from 50 auditions.
The 30-year-old says he even planned how he would take his own life as he spiralled into the depths of drink, drugs and pornography after struggling to find work following his stint as Private Fingers in the Michelle Keegan drama Our Girl.
Sean, who played drug dealer Callum Logan on Coronation Street, told the M.E.N.’s sister paper The Mirror: “I nearly took my own life - I’d think about it every day. I did actually plan how I was going to do it but I suppose I was too scared.”
Mercifully his girlfriend found a note written by Sean which hinted of his intentions, and after a lifesaving intervention by his family, he’s been sober for three months.
“It wasn’t a suicide note but there were a few quotes in it that made her sit up and alarm bells were ringing,” he says.
“I had written that if people won’t celebrate me in life, then maybe they will in death.”
Despite a seemingly promising career, the rejections kept coming for Sean and he was soon running out of cash.
He slipped into a cycle of drinking, smoking cannabis and watching online X-rated sex in a bid to ease his depression.
“I was a full-on recluse and didn’t want to leave the house,” he admits.
“I was smoking so much dope. I spent thousands of pounds. I’ve probably paid for my dealer’s mortgage and I haven’t even paid for my own.
“I don’t think I slept for six months - I was surviving on two hours a night. I’d drink until I fell asleep, sobbing, with a bottle of vodka.”
Winning the role of Callum in Corrie in 2014 gave him instant fame, until his character was killed off in 2015.
After Our Girl, Sean - who dated fellow ex-Corrie star and Strictly runner-up Georgia May Foote for eight months - struggled to find his next role, and his depression spiralled.
“I hit 30 last year. I did 50 auditions and didn’t get any.
“I looked at all my friends from school who were all settled and happy. I thought, ‘What have I done wrong here? I don’t have a job, I’ve got hardly any money.’
“My depression just spiralled. I couldn’t portray any character in any audition because I didn’t have the emotion to put into my life. You feel like a foreigner in your own body. I used to say, ‘I love you’ to my girlfriend and it wouldn’t even sound real.”
Last month Sean, who split with his partner in September, opened up about having an ‘addictive personality’ in a candid Instagram post to his 130,000 followers.
He said: “I don’t miss the drink or the weed. I’m an actor - how am I meant to walk into an audition and light up the room if I’m pale and my eyes are sunken?
“Instead of feeling sorry for myself and drinking and smoking my opportunities away, I know I’ve got one last shot to make a go of this.”
If you need to speak to someone, Samaritans are available 24/7 by calling 116 123 or by emailing jo@ samaritans.org