I’m not lazy... it’s a lot of work
MUM HITS BACK AFTER SHE’S SLAMMED FOR NOT SENDING HER CHILDREN TO SCHOOL AND LETTING THEM DO WHATEVER THEY WANT
A MUM has hit back after she was accused of being ‘lazy’ for not sending her children to school and letting them do whatever they want.
Nic Bescoby, 30, has scrapped traditional parenting for a more ‘gentle’ approach.
The mum-of-three, from Rochdale, allows her kids to choose how to structure their days and lets them stay up late so that they don’t feel ‘anxious’ going to bed.
Nic, a blogger, insists her brood are creative, kind and love learning as a result of their bohemian upbringing.
Critics on social media have slammed her approach, saying she is lazy and not preparing her children for the realities of life.
But Nic, who is mum to George, eight, Ellie, seven and Aimee, six, said: “It’s a lot of work – laziness is completely the wrong word.
“I mean, I work from home, I am doing a uni course at the moment, so there are a lot of elements in there.
“It’s constantly answering questions, researching the questions that they ask because half the time I don’t know the answer to the questions they ask.
“So we have to go and find the answer which is teaching them another key skill to find answers to questions.
“The lazier option would be saying ‘you have to do what I say’ because that is easier for me.
“Whereas actually we would sit and discuss why and it does take a lot of work to go through that.
“They are children, they are very wilful and sometimes I do because it’s mutual respect and sometimes I do have to put my needs first.”
She added: “Anyone who has met my children has said how wonderful they are, how polite they are.”
Nic, who co-parents with the kids’ father – her ex-husband, factory worker Kyle Dex, 32 – had a conventional upbringing, but found that attending a mainstream school took the joy out of learning. Having read up about different styles of parenting while studying childcare, she initially adopted an ‘authoritarian’ approach after George was born in April 2011.
She said: “I was taught a very linear punishment and reward type system, which I was using at first. But I soon realised that wasn’t going to work with George. He was a very spirited child and would have meltdowns. The punishment and reward system wasn’t making either of us happy.”
When George was around two and in nursery, Nic decided to change her methods.
She said: “I noticed a difference immediately. I told George, ‘You choose what you want to do,’ and from then on, we weren’t struggling any more.”
Nic adopted the same ‘unschooling’ methods with her other children and says they are flourishing.
However, Twitter users warned that the family will be heading for problems.
One said: “This was the way my parents raised me and it messed me up for a long time. By the time I was an adult it was incredibly hard for me to cope with bosses being bossy. I hated being told what to do. I went from job after job.”
Another blasted: “Kids are in for shock when they grow up and get told what to do. Just pure laziness on the mum’s part.”
A third said: “The job of a parent is to raise kids to become independent functioning adults. Wait till they grow up and have to follow society’s rules.”
But Nic, who says she would enrol the children into a mainstream school if they expressed a wish to go, believes she is preparing them for a changing world.
She said: “If we look at the society we’re going into, there has to be massive changes to the world we’re living in if you look at environmental factors, the way the world is changing, the technology we’re producing, we need out of the box thinkers.
“I want to teach them they can do anything they want to do.
“George has already said he wants to take his GCSEs and wants to take them early so he can do more learning.
“He is very scientifically-minded and knows how everything works. He eventually wants to learn to code.
“Ellie is very musical and creative. She loves playing the drums, art and writing. We’re actually writing a young adult book together.
“Aimee is still at that stage where everything is magical, so she’s into make believe and creating scenarios with her toys.
“I want to teach them they can do anything they want to do. Success is dependent on each person’s world view, so as long as the children themselves feel successful, I’m happy.”