Our five family ambitions for when we’re
DOUBLE TROUBLE FOR A FIRST TIME DAD OF TWINS
“Don’t forget your mask,” Emma shouted, as I got out the car to drop the twins off at nursery.
This brief command from my helpful, but slightly bossy child, made me realise lockdown has been going on for one third of their lives.
Since children don’t form memories until they’re about two or three years old (according to Google), our current situation is all they’ve known.
There will come a time when we can finally go inside places and meet people. The tricky bit is estimating when that ‘time’ will be.
Until that magic day of basic freedom, here’s a top five of mediocre ambitions for us to do with the twins: ■ A visit to the grandparents must be in the top spot, or let’s be honest, any responsible adult with a caring nature and willing to assume responsibility for two children.
■ We’ve enjoyed our picnics but eating wet sandwiches off your knee with muddy hands is nicer on a sporadic basis and in the summer.
More importantly, they’re proper people now, who can go to the toilet, use cutlery and many more things even I struggle with, so they’d be very pleasant dining companions.
■ Shopping may seem an odd choice but their general fascination with life extends to the darkened windows of
toy stores. Since they can’t go in these places, they press their noses against them looking into this promised land. The only concern is Emma’s proclivity towards kleptomania, which is fine when these things belong to Thomas. It could be an issue if our very own Artful Dodger is in the Apple Store and I’m apprehended by security as the Fagin behind her pilfering.
■ A trip to the cinema, complete with smuggled snacks, would also be a first for them. One minor concern is explaining to a cinema employee why seat 7F might need a good foam wash because they were entranced by the Disney spectacular.
■ Despite my own personal hatred of soft play centres, the twins really love them, so we could watch their amazement at finally being allowed on the previously off-limits section of ‘big boy’ zones.
And that’s pretty much it, which leads me to think if all they’ve missed is soft play, a meal out, shopping and trip to the grandparents for less than a year, to help defeat a killer virus then they’ve not really suffered too much.