Charity for survivors of abuse inspired by tragedies
PRIDE OF MANCHESTER WINNER SAYS SHE HAD TO DO SOMETHING TO HELP VICTIMS
PRIDE of Manchester winner Jane Gregory knows what it’s like to be in an abusive relationship, but it was the murder of local mums Leanne McNuff and Linzi Ashton by their ex-partners after suffering years of abuse that made her realise she had to do something.
Sadly their cases were far from unique and in 2013 Jane set up the Salford Survivor Project to help others in the same situation.
She had been concerned that her daughter might get involved in a troubled relationship with her own partner. “I just thought: I’ve got to make a change. I’m not going to sit around and wait for my daughter to be the next victim,” says Jane. The 51-year-old found that although there were services available for people experiencing domestic abuse, they couldn’t be accessed quickly and easily - and she knows from her own experience how hard it is to find help.
“I come from a home where my dad regularly beat my mum and I just believed that’s how things were. People who are abused naturally blame themselves, so they’ll compensate for their abusive partner’s behaviour.” When Jane got together with her now expartner, she also found herself in an abusive situation, but admits she didn’t see how bad things were until they separated.
“It was only when I’d left that I realised I was financially abused too. He didn’t steal out of my purse or anything - he did it in other ways, like remortgaging the house without my knowing.”
But now Jane is buying her own house and has a bright future ahead of her - and she’s determined to offer other women a lifeline to that same freedom. She and her team of volunteers from the Salford Survivor Project have years of experience between them; they can provide support at court hearings, help to find housing and, of course, offer a shoulder to cry on for people going through tough times.
“It’s important that we speak
about abuse because the victims often blame themselves when it’s not their fault,” she says. “If your partner’s doing something that makes you feel uncomfortable, then that’s a sign of abuse. They can make you doubt yourself and deny what they’re doing in such a convincing way that you start to believe you’re in the wrong. I come across people
who’ve never had a bank account and when they split up from their partner they haven’t got a clue what to do because their partner controlled everything.”
But Jane has shown it’s possible to break free and enjoy a better future than you could ever have imagined.
She says the first step to liberation is setting boundaries, though she admits that can be tough.
As well as local help organisations like the Salford Survivor Project, the UK SAYS NO MORE campaign, backed by the charity Hestia, is providing safe spaces where people suffering domestic abuse can walk into a TSB branch and talk to a staff member, who will take them to a private room to access help. The scheme is free, confidential - and may be the first step to a new life of freedom.
I’m not going to sit around and wait for my daughter to be the next victim Jane Gregory