‘Return to sender’

BMW K1600GT SE SPORT 10,081 MILES After 10,000 miles of inline-six pipe music, the affair is over

The K1600GT is a prime example of being able to love something’s abilities, without actually being in love with it. The miles in its saddle were packed with enjoyment, pride, and – occasionally – awe, but passion never quite made it onto the list. As the GT made its way home to BMW, I reflected on some great trips, looked back through old photos like a lovelorn teen, and tried to pin-point the moment when I failed to fall in love.

Some pics surprised me because I’d forgotten the rides, and the one that really gave me pause was when I realised how much I’d enjoyed the ride – but forgot I was on an RT that day...

Damning with faint praise

While you might be fearing the approach of an imminent onslaught of criticism, there really isn’t one coming. There’s no tide of negative revelations – only a lack of fizzing adoration. The GT is a superb unicorn of a bike. Quite possibly the last gloriously selfindulgent inline-six we’re ever likely to see in production; a bike that’s hewn out of the rockface of every touring cliché and tick-box hitlist; a monument to what a big brand can do when they want to write the last word on a segment.

But lines between categories are now forever blurred by the casual excellence that exists elsewhere – and there’s an argument for defending the mantra that ‘less is more’, even if you stick to the class boundaries. BMW’s own R1250RT is a better tourer than the K1600GT. More comfortable, more fun, more agile, more engaging, lighter, slimmer, fitter, cheaper... It might not be able to write all the GT’s headlines, but it delivers a better story. And if you’re happy to broaden your horizons and step between genres, taking only your hitlist of must-have attributes with you, then your perfect tourer might actually be an adventure bike.

After all, what does the perfect tourer have to deliver? If it’s great comfort, big miles, huge panniers, pillion comfort, creamy torqueladen power delivery, a spec sheet that could wallpaper a whole room and the sort of weather protection that a car would be proud of – numerous non-tourers fit the bill. Ducati’s Multistrada V4S, for example, beats the GT on all those (for me) – and with dramatically longer service intervals, too.

The GT is superb, but ultimately lacking in emotion and drowning in its own mass. It’s hard to criticise or lambast it for any weaknesses – but it’s even harder to adore. And for me, biking is still about passion, feeling, connection and the smile you can’t prevent whenever you open the garage door. And for all its brilliance, the big K1600GT just doesn’t deliver that.

Hugely capable but hard to fall in love with