Friends & Relationships
Sitting down and opening up about your mental health might be one of the biggest steps you’ll take in your life. But, as our results show, when you do, you might just find that you have more in common with the person you speak to than you’d first thought
“When it comes to dealing with mental ill-health,” says Hayley Jarvis, community programmes manager at Mind, “nothing is more helpful than the simple act of speaking to your peers.” In fact, we’d argue, it’s lifesaving. But, while our research shows that men are getting better at looking out for their friends, being honest about their own mental wellbeing remains a challenge.
According to a survey by Yougov and Heads Together, just 37% of men are likely to come forward and open up about their mental health, as opposed to 54% of women. Instead of being open about how we feel, for the most part, men prefer to hide away, hoping that a dark mood will pass, afraid that others won’t understand how we feel – or simply preferring to internalise the issue. “It’s often the case that men [suffering with poor mental health] subconsciously think they are worthless, so a common response is to isolate oneself,” explains Dr Winwood. “This then manifests in withdrawal from relationships, sex and your social circle. It’s a self-perpetuating problem.”
But, just as internalised wounds will fester, bringing them out into the open can be a significant step toward healing pain. In fact, the same survey revealed that 82% of men who did speak out found doing so to be beneficial to their mental state and general wellbeing. The emphasis, then, should be not only on speaking out and confiding in friends, but, crucially, on doing so before normal feelings of despair or despondency become an insurmountable problem.
“Men wait until they’re in crisis to open up, and that’s too late,” says Dr Winwood. “We will make real advances with male mental health when they start asking for help early on.” With a little more conversation and action, you can be the difference – not only in your friends’ lives, but in your own as well.