Friends With Benefits

Mates don’t let mates shoulder a burden alone – so you shouldn’t let yourself feel the same way, either. Here’s how to break free of a rut

Run For The Hills

“We tend to isolate ourselves when we’re feeling low,” says Dr Winwood. “A big part of isolation is waiting for someone to contact you and, if you’re sending the wrong signals, you could wait a hell of a long time. We can break this cycle through active intervention: making solid plans for the future.” Signing up for this month’s MH Survival of the Fittest races at menshealth.co.uk is a good place to start.

Face-to-face Time

“Society’s obsession with social media means we can get disheartened by constant reminders of everyone’s perfect, edited existences,” says Dr Winwood. “It can feed anxiety and loneliness. We need to remember that social media portrays a false reality and log off once in a while.” Making plans to see old friends in person, rather than sending a Whatsapp, will make you both more likely to open up – especially if it’s in the pub.

Back Number One

When your focus is on an unwell friend or partner, it’s not uncommon for your own wellbeing to become secondary. And although 57% of us have recognised things we’re worried about in ourselves in others’ behaviour, we aren’t doing anything about it. “We need to hold the mirror up and have more compassion for ourselves,” says Dr Winwood. “You need to be your own best mate. Think, ‘If my friends felt this way, how would I help?’”

Follow Through

You’ve asked your friend if he’s OK. He isn’t. Now what? “The greatest challenge is knowing how to support someone who has a problem,” says Craig Martin, mental health expert at Movember. The key is simply to listen. If that’s difficult, keep in mind that men are more likely to open up when others (ie you) do, too. If that’s a real stretch, try using anonymous online platform Mentalk (mentalk.me) to start your own life-saving conversations.