The Neon-lit Neanderthal

Ambling blearily down the Tesco Metro chilled aisle forms the modern man’s hunting pattern. But frantic urban life is messing with your brain’s dopamine receptors, leading you to crave junk food. Next time the need for quick calories threatens to override common sense, use this flow chart to help you hunt and gather according to your body’s nutritional needs

You are... Hunter Gatherer Even if you’re not a strict adherent to dietary dogma, as a regular gym-goer, you most likely enjoy a balanced approach to health. Venison – with 30g of protein per 150 calories – will help target your fat-burning goals while also building muscle mass. And whether you’ve trained today or not, white potatoes (full of high-gi carbs) will help your body soak up more of that protein, helping you get ready for tomorrow’s session. To finish, roast some cauliflower; it’s packed with vitamins to safeguard long-term health if you do let training slide. You are... Hunter You hunt down calories to fuel growth, but it may not always be the most nutritious fare. A sirloin covers all bases – indulgent, rich in healthy protein and fats and packed with creatine, to speed up muscle synthesis (no more messing about with chicken breasts). Round out your plate with brown rice for slowrelease energy, and leeks for micronuritents. According to researchers, they’re a rich source of kaempferol, a heartprotective, anti-inflammatory painkiller. In other words: your hangover’s worst enemy. You are... Gatherer Whether you’re piling the trolley high in an attempt to bulk up – or just cushioning your Narcos obsession – you’re in danger of amassing organ-restricting visceral fat. Tuna should be your go-to. Just one tin packs in 80% of your protein RDA, meaning you get a lot of lean, musclebuilding bang for your buck. For carbs, choose polenta with added protein to curb your Monster Munch cravings. Finish it off with fibrous red cabbage. According to Cell journal, pairing protein with high-fibre foods makes you feel fuller, faster, so you won’t hit the fridge mid-episode.