Glow Time

I decided to begin slowly. Vitamin Injections (VI) is a London clinic that, in short, pumps stuff into your arm. The stuff in question ranges from the fat-shredding amino acid L-carnitine to the energyboosting vitamin B12. More pertinent to my cause is the range listed on VI’S “Anti-ageing Menu”. I’m intrigued by a treatment called “Baby Face”, involving a mixture of nutrients that supposedly combats lines, sagging and dehydration. There’s “Stemcellation”, in which you’re injected with sheep placenta in order to regenerate ageing cells. Meanwhile, the “Wellness Menu” offers detoxifying glutathione injections. I decided to have the lot done – £600 of treatments in total. After all, who can say they’ve truly lived until they’ve had sheep placenta injected into their blood at least once?

My clinician, Olivia, ran me through the procedure. She made it very clear that the treatments I’d chosen would have better results if they were carried out over 12 sessions. She’d stick a needle in my arm, squirt a succession of variouscoloured fluids through it, and I’d be up and on my way within 10 minutes. There might be side effects – such as stomach cramps, caused by the influx of vitamins – but nothing too scary. I decided to throw in 20 minutes of nasal oxygen therapy (£30), which involved breathing 93% pure oxygen through