Understand What “Value” Means

Musician Ruston Kelly, 33, has often written himself into his songs as characters racing towards rock bottom. And he’s lived it, between rehab stints: getting high, coming down and feeling like “walking death”. Now, he is going through a personal and musical remix

MH How did being a touring musician factor into your substance abuse?

RK I felt encouraged by whatever it was that I was doing, which is dangerous. To be half-drunk on a barstool playing for two hours, and people getting down to that and complimenting you – I felt, like, “Maybe I just understand myself as an artist better, when I don’t understand who I am as a person?”

MH You have recently celebrated two years of sobriety. What have you learned?

RK You look at value a lot differently. You know what it’s like to not have the simple things that seem to be building the very essence of being a happy and fulfilled person. You know what it’s like for your cup to be empty and you keep scraping the bottom.

MH Your first two records explore your history of drug and alcohol addiction. As you’re working on your next project, how has sobriety affected your artistic process?

RK I think [my first album] Dying Star was like I was floating in water. You can’t really tell if this dude is sinking or rising to the top. [My second album] Shape & Destroy is my head out of water. You see the shore, you’re going straight for it. And I think this next record is gonna be asking, “What does the shore look like?”